.: :. LoVe t♡ VenT .: :.

2007-06-15T22:27:00.000+08:00

It has been awhile.. since i post on this blog.
I want to blog. Blog at somewhere that peoples hardly to find out. So here it is.
These words came from deepest side in my heart.

What's wrong with you and what's wrong with me?

Why do we have to argue everytime because of her?
Please tell me why?
It's not that i love to bring up this topic.
It's just that you don't understand how do i feel whenever you layan her. and you've choose not to understand.

Who i am in your heart?
Who she is in your heart?

Why can't you keep your promise to me?
Why did you break it?
Why did you break it because of her?
Why her?

You can finished the phone credit in 2 to 3 days times just to chat with her.
It's not about the money issue im talking about.
It's about me, YOUR GIRLFRIEND, ME!!
Who i am to you?

I hate her.
Because she ruined our relationship over and over again.

and i begins to hate you.
because you stand on her side whenever we argued.

I'm fucking dissapointed when i knew you lied to me.

I'm fucking sad because you don't get me, i don't get you.

I'm fucking depress because i have to check your handphone everytime.

You know what, i hate to do this.
because i don't trust you.

I don't know how to build my trust to you.

You broke my trust to you. It's you!

I'm fucking sick because of this.
Don't you get it?

Tell me if its wrong to help you to save money?
You says i shouldn't intefere your life?
just because i asked you to watch movie some other day? with me?
I just wanted to accompany you so that you won't be alone.
I'm your girlfriend and you're my boyfriend.
I would still wanted to accompany you for the movie eventhough i had never watch before.

Once again, i shed my tears.

I feel so insecure.

I don't mind if you're broke. I don't mind at all!! even it is so hard to go thru.. i just don't mind, its because i love you.

Whenever you layan her, you just don't have any idea that you have broke my heart.

and i'm the one who picking up the pieces.

I hate whenever you say ok, but you know you're not ok then you bring it up when we argue.

I hate that alot..

You says i like to pick up the fight everytime, don't care wether you are sick, unwell, or whatever.

Have you ever think about who is the one who made this things to become a fight?

You says there's many things you have to worry about.. its the reason that i shouldn't pick up fight with you.

What about me?

My studies? My family? My financial?

You sounds that i have nothing to worry about.

I dislike you say sorry to me when you don't even mean it.
you know why. because things happens over and over again. Repeating.
yet you don't realize.

I feel thankful that whatever you did it to me.

You have no idea how i appreciate whatever things you done it to me.
You bought me cloths. I wear it twice a week.
The first time that you gave me pocket money, I keep the note until now. Eventhough i'm broke, i didn't use it.
I keep the movie tickets.
Whenever we go out, i hold your hand tightly.. it's because i appreciate the time when we're together.

Do you know that?

I bet you don't even know..

If I don't love you that much, I won't give a damn whoever that you chat with.
If I don't love you that much, I won't be sitting down here and still crying since all the way you send me home.
If I don't love you, i won't hugs you tightly...

.Plain Obsess

2007-03-09T01:09:00.000+08:00

I really dislike 'people' jokes on me. In a way, insult me which I HATE the most!!!

Who do you think you are? WTF! I keep quite, that doesn't mean i scare of you just because i don't wanna talk to you. Do you want to know why? Because of your personality. You can speak fluently in english so what? That doesn't mean I can't speak fluently for the rest of my life. Before i know you, I thought you're kind of friendly person ever since you're working in public services industry. To tell you the truth, you're too proud of yourself and you totally gross me out!!

My point is, Please respect other peoples. Treat them equally. Otherwise, people will hate you just like i do.

and you.. I'm not suprise that you will stand on her side and talk to me. I'm not being upset either. Its just pathetic that you can't even differentiate the right or the wrong. I love the way who you are but not now. I can say, no more. I'd never expect you to stand on my side because i know you won't. It's damn plain wrong that i expect you to treat me friendly. Somehow i realise that you two are mean to be with each other. Not being dissapoint cuz I live my life. For you, think rationally.

Chinese New Year 2007

2007-02-16T01:03:00.000+08:00

Gong Xi Fatt Cai~!!

Wishing everyone good health and prosperity!!

By the way, where is my angpow? Heehee!!

P.S# for more updates, kindly visit www.xanga.com/babyyingxue

2007-01-14T11:39:00.000+08:00

Updateeeeee!!!
=p

这是一个很古老的传说...

很久以前在老虎王国住着一对兄妹. 它们各自持有特殊的能力. 哥哥有一对千里眼;妹妹则有一对顺风耳... 它们一起长大, 渡过快乐与悲伤. 它们爱上了对方.. 它们知道这段爱情是不被应许的..但它们无法控制自己!!

父亲知道后大发雷霆; 母亲以泪洗脸.. 所有的人都对它们指指点点. 这两兄妹也非常难过..

它们把上天赐给它们的礼物都一一放弃了, 它们选择了爱情.. 哥哥的眼睛看不见了; 妹妹的耳朵也听不到了. 外人说什么它们都不再知道了...

千年以后, 有位音乐家听了这个凄美动人的爱情故事大受感动.. 他作了一首曲子. 我听了这首曲子不禁悲从中来. 希望你也会感动.
那歌词是这样的..

......
..........
...............
..........
......

"两只老虎, 两只老虎..
跑得快, 跑得快...
一只没有眼睛, 一只没有耳朵..
真奇怪! 真奇怪!!"

唉~ 真可怜...

copyright reserved. ^ ^v

有趣的QQ

2006-12-13T23:01:00.000+08:00

刚才send了一封sms给我的小QQ(舅舅). 麻烦他向我的婆婆讨几家餐厅的电话号码.

不久.. 我就收到他的reply.

他写道:-
婆婆问你是不是钓到大金龟了,马上要嫁了,要摆喜酒了,记得'掠'多几围台啊!
美沁餐厅去去印拔梨黎, 夜来香去去鳄鱼帮拉..无数多谢啦~

o_O

哈哈.. 超让我摸不着头脑的. 可气又可笑! 你们有谁知道去去印拔梨黎和去去鳄鱼帮拉代表什么号码吗? 我小QQ就是那么的可爱. 他很疼我的噢~!! 真是幸福呢!!

这几天心情超好的.. 你感觉得到吗?

终于..

2006-12-09T21:10:00.000+08:00

真实和谎言一起到河边洗澡.
先上岸的谎言偷穿真实的衣服不肯归还.
固执的真实也不肯穿上衣服, 只好光溜溜的走.
从此人们眼中只有穿着真实外衣的谎言,却怎么也无法接受赤裸裸的真实....

后来, 我才知道..会不会太迟呢?

210# for Last

2006-11-27T11:29:00.000+08:00

Dear friends, sorry to say, this might be the last post. Pointless to write. I had enough of hurts. Everything is all in vain. What a great birthday I had.

Thanks for your guys who always support me but it's meaningless. Thanks to whoever that makes me feel worthless to breath in this world. Your guys are great. I'm so suprise to recieve this kind of birthday present. Thanks!

Lastly, Happy Birthday to a BITCH! That is me.

Cheers.

209#

2006-11-25T12:49:00.000+08:00

I just woke up, and I haven't clean up myself yet.

I have too many things in my mind where I need to share with anyone that would listen to me.

Weeks ago, there's a guy who hurts me badly and I had made up my mind that DO NOT look for him anymore. Yes, I did not talk, chat, look for him for weeks. BUT, everythings are in vain right after I ring him last night. We didn't talk to each other but only a sms. Argh!! I ring him for few times do you know that? That is sooooo embarrassed! Why couldn't I stick to my mind, stop looking for him despite whatever happens to me? Because I get used to talk to him, chat with him, tell him what has happen to me everyday... I'm a failure. Slap me!! as hard as you can...

I knew I've tried my best regardless how you gonna say me...

I'm having a great stomache which makes me feel unwell.

Show you something. My candy nails. Cute kan? It makes me feel happy whenever I look at my nails. They looks like candy makes you wanna bite bite.

Have I ever tell you about a huge bananas given by my grandparents. The banana named Pisang Raja. It is so big so huge!! You would full after you take one. It grows at my grandparent's fruits garden where next to their house. Missin it badly.

This is pictures that I took it last night before went out to friend's house.

Talk about last night. Tsk tsk. I didn't make it to my friend's new lounge opening. It's because of my friends' mood swing at last minutte and one of them went to Kudat and a few of them went to Kundasang. I was abit moody because my friend has triple confirm from me if me and friends are going and our name will be listed in the guess list. I feel like I'm the one who ffk. *pengsan* mou ngan tai.. eyeless.

Mr A, the guy who super irritating by making lotsa calls, send those crap messages has stop his action. Hah! Finally....

BUT!!!

Here comes another Mr A. He's not irritating. Everytime when he chat with me, he will ask some questions that makes me scratch head, bingung and with the word 'har??' Every questions following by a complain. *pening then pengsan* Example: He asked me to blog about him. I refuse. He gets angry then he complains that I didn't appreciate him. Adei dei~

Recently, I got some missed calls made by 016 and 087. It's damn annoying. Somehow this 087 knew every of my phone numbers. I picked up then he/she/they hung up. Stupid hor. Never ever let me know who did it. I'm sure he/she/they will get it! wtf!

Ok, times up!

Friends

2006-11-24T10:52:00.000+08:00

Friends. What does it means? Would they appreciate while you're always there for them? Do they treat you as a friend? Shrug. Confusing. What does xxx takes me for? I'm always there to help xxx despite of anything happens. I don't expect anything back from xxx. But why xxx makes me feels like xxx never treat me as a true friend. I did tell my other friends about what'd happen between me and xxx. They say, "xxx doesn't treat you as a friend, it's better that you keep away from xxx." Sigh. But I'd never did that before. I guess xxx wouldn't know what is going on..

I feel like deleting this blog. I mean the whole blog.

B S

2006-11-23T12:54:00.000+08:00

Hmm.. Where am I right now? What am I thinking? What am I doing? I feel like I am at lost but I'm ok with it. Hahaha.. What the hell I'm talking about..

Well, I was about to start my healthy lifestyle. but it's failed. Talk about morning jog. I woke up on 5am, pitch dark and cold. Wondering if there's anyone who jogging, but satu bayang pun tiada.. Wanted to wake my mum up but she seems like having a sweet dream. Sitting down there and wondering should i go or shouldn't. At last, i didn't make it because I scare of those silly wild dogs. They bark and bite!! GrrRrrRrR...

5 days to go...

Empty heart. Begins to hate of these days. Yea, single life. I mean single available and single unavailable. Single unavailable, it is because your heart hold for someone but you're single; Single available means you're single and your heart hold nothing. Which kind of single life I'm having? bla bla bla...

Nowadays, I feel like I'm living in my own world. You see, friends around me are attached. Whatever they're doing, talking, acting are totally different than mine. I feel so....empty.. Sometimes I feel like I'm talking to myself even they are around. I do feel excited and enjoy to chill out with friends, especially my close friends. But everytime they seems like busy.. Even if their gf/bf is not around, they can be super busy sms-ing with each other. After all, the session became so......quite and I feel like being BOYCOTT. Sigh. I really dislike it. Somehow I think it's better if I stay home. Sorry friends, but that is how I feel.

Do I really have to make myself more socialize?

Haih... How r?

Some people wouldn't feel sleepy after a cup of coffee, some people don't..

Things that NEED to be DONE

2006-11-21T17:04:00.000+08:00

Have to get the certified-true-copy for my SPM result.
Apply the course.
Renew my JCTIC membership and register for the Japanese beginner class -I've forgot the japanese- =/
Clean my room.
Minta hutang from the stupid guy.
Book my air tickets and etc.

*pengsan*

Morning jog, exercises, drink more fluid, eat proper meals, more fruits or juices, sleep well... for a starts of healthy lifestyle. *winks*

I MUST STAY AWAY from-

oily and high cholesterol and carbohydrate food
supper -dear friends, do not ask me for supper anymore aight! a drink should be ok- ;p
junk food. -no more keropoks-

There's another thing I prefer/wanted to do so much.. That is..

Shoppinggggggggggggggggg ;)

Ah! It's raining.. zZz.. and I feel like slappin' somebody. Tee hee~ Sounds stupid hor.. The somebody is staying opposite to my house. Consider as my neighbour hor. I have the reason why I wanted to slap him so much.. Not just me who wanted to slap him but I guess peoples who staying around him would like to slap him kao kao... Ok, telling you why. He is too gila.. gila sial one.. He shout, scream and yell almost everyday and night. It's so annoying. Didn't know what's wrong with him. Sometimes I heard some children crying when he's yelling. He thinks that he is the only one who stay in Beverly hor.. Ngai D*!!

Last time was a geng of karaoke queens. They can sing starts from afternoon till midnight. Adui~ It's killing cuz the voices like hantu eh. Tau tau ler if you ownself can't sing. Tsk tsk! Never Ever pull the moo moo naik the tree ler.. Haihh..

The point is..... the next block of mine got so many WEIRDOs! *giggles*

Help ~~

2006-11-20T00:22:00.000+08:00

I'm wondering what's going on to my speakers? Why it's turn to a guy voice all of sudden?!! Any idea? I feel bad cuz NO MUSIC NO LIFE! GeEeEee.. Whatever songs that I listen, it's just came out with... duh~

Actually, I've got so many pictures to upload. Somehow.. my friend.. wuwuwu~ He's so FFK!!

Went out with friends to eat and to CemS for karaoke. As usual, I sing. Wow! I knew to sing a Indonesian song, 'Pudar' well. *bangga* Tee hee~ but.. it's hard to sing Teman Tapi Mesra. Yay! I'm rockers man. AHAHAHAHAHAHa~ ;p

Giu miang rRrRrRr..~!!! The guy still message and ring me. I'd asked my boy-friend to talk to him. TAK JADI because he hung up the phone. GrRrRr!! Imagine that someone keep ringing you everyday & night and send some crappy messages to you even you've already tell him off that you pissed off. Somemore the guy is kind of person who don't know what's the time he ring you. It's so annoying u know? !*&^%$#@!! I wanted to pick up the phone call and yell at him or whatever ask him to stop but I just can't do it. Why har? Not just to him but to others like Rayner, I used to ignore his phone call then he will shut up immediately. Now, he would call me once in awhile. Tell myself, IF once I super piss off, I will pick up his phone call, then i will let him 知错!!

Ok, it's time to sleep, I guess.. Mami ku sedang ngi ngi ngo ngo, ngam ngam cham cham. >.<

Nitez.

P.S# Didn't even notice that today is 20th. My notti brother and my friendsS' birthday. Nvm, I guess they are sleeping like pig. keke.. Ohyahor, no wonder my brother was like waiting me just now. Hahaha.. stupiak him.

-out-

Definately hate it!!!

2006-11-19T12:43:00.000+08:00

Hey Mr A!! Can you please STOP calling me? STOP sending those crap messages!! I beg you, really. I had enough of it! It's so irritating. I can't even sleep well. What do you expect me to do? I've nothing to do with you and we've nothing to settle. You pissed me off and you asked me to forgive you sincerely then you wouldn't kacau me anymore? What the... Don't make me pick up your call and scream or shout at you. Now, just leave me alone without asking why! Get it?!!

GrRrRrrrr... !*&^%$#@!!!

选美不再神圣吗?

2006-11-18T13:47:00.000+08:00

星期一,我到 Karamunsing Complex 做指甲护理及 nail art.我和那护理专家Irene蛮熟的,因为我是她的regular customer.我们有所不谈.

忘了是怎样的情况下,我们谈起了选美.Irene很愤怒的说:"那些选美的(佳丽)没有一个好!" 我先是呆了一下,然后再问她为什么那么讨厌她们.

她说道:"其实我以前和你们一样,很爱在电视机收看选美比赛.觉得她们不论化妆,所穿的衣裳都非常漂亮.但在我哥所发生的事情后,我对那些参与选美的女生相当徘彻.她们没有一个是美的!"

我问道:"你哥? 发生过什么事?"

她很生气地说:"在几年前,我哥交了一个女友,她曾参加选美.选美之前还好好地.谁知道,选美过后的她简直是判若两人! 她把我哥当成是什么? 赛前,要我哥做这样,做那样. 赛后就跟其他男人跑了! 把我哥置于死地! 跑了不用紧, 还叫我哥帮她拍写真!她算是什么?!!"

Irene很激动和我说了她的哥哥的遭遇.从此, Irene就对参与选美的女生很反感.她也不再收看选美了.我很惊讶.

世上各式各类的人都有.坏的人比好的人多,比比皆是.选美是一项非常神圣的事.内在比外表来得重要.同样的,有一颗爱心的平凡女生比一个外貌甜美却假仁假义的女生还要漂亮! 现在有太多太多大大小小,各式各样的选美盛会.但是有超过一部分的,都忽略了其选美真正的重要性.只要你有着'好看的样子,魔鬼的身材'就有机会当选.是这样的吗? 我们真的可以从一项比赛中选出一个真正美丽的女生吗? 决定权是在于观众.问题是,观众能在短短的时间内了解她们会是怎样的人? 她们是否为了争取胜利而隐藏自己真正的那一面? 若是这样的话,选美不就变得没意义了?

朋友们,你们认为呢?

当然,我也不是100%认同Irene的想法.并不是每一位参赛者的都是如此.

永恒的心痕

2006-11-17T14:26:00.000+08:00

这几天清晨, 不知怎么的, 眼泪不听使唤地一直往下流.. 好不争气噢!
生日快要到了..
今年, 我渴望的, 不是什么庆生会, 有什么蛋糕之类的..
相反, 我要的是, 一个人到某一处, 安安静静地渡过..
我要我的心平静下来.. 再怎样的大事庆祝, 我也不会快乐..
我也不知道为了什么把自己搞得那么可悲..
我的愿望有三个.
一, 我希望我能够坚强度过每一天.
二, 希望家人健健康康,快快乐乐,无忧无虑地过日子.
三, 我能够忘记他.
今早, 听说妈妈要订蛋糕, 是给我和弟弟的巧克力蛋糕.
我对妈说, 我根本不喜欢巧克力.
妈以为我吵着要另一个蛋糕, 就向我说她把钱花在我们的生日上, 自己宁可挨痛不去看医生.
我说天啊! 然后, 我就骂她一顿. 对她大声说, 我根本都不想庆祝!
那时我背对着他们, 他们根本不知道我在流泪..
生日对我而说, 是非常重要.
生日一定要快乐. 人快乐所以才庆祝.
我很难过. 哪怕是一个微笑, 都是假的.
在生日之前, 我已经收到一份我认为最棒的礼物.
它叫心碎.
它是我曾经那么爱的人所给的.
收到这份礼物, 我也不晓得要如何谢他才好.
12月..
一个白色的季节..
我即将搬家了.
我希望能搬出这个伤痛.
祝福我.

八首歌,一种心情

2006-11-17T11:28:00.000+08:00

假装多好我只要只想要再拥有一秒去相信你的拥抱一直会让我依靠
爱断了线于是我每天都想你的离人节不再见面不代表我不再对你想念你是曾经的永远会永远在我身边
努力越过风暴向着未来飘我们才会遇到感动的拥抱你总是能知道我的坚强剩多少给我最刚好的依靠
暧昧让人变得贪心直到等待失去意义无奈我和你写不出结局放遗憾的美丽停在这里
我相信找不到有比你更好的人你心里理想情人是几分是否也会有我的份好想知道你的100分会给怎样的人
习惯是对生活的一种妥协而时间却让我学会难过时关上门一个人流眼泪
我在幸福的门外却一直都进不来你累积给的伤害我是真的很难释怀
我们曾紧紧拥抱却又轻易地放掉那种感觉很微妙该怎么说才好

回应篇

2006-11-16T10:45:00.000+08:00

雨一直的下..
看着他那一篇post,
心,还在痛..泪,依然还淌着.
他把我隔在友情和爱情之间的灰色地带, 让我不知所措.
试问这样对我公平吗?
我非常恨我自己为什么痴?!
以前的我,不是这样子的.
为什么变得如此软弱?
对, 他对那份爱的执著, 别人看了,听了会觉得伟大. 但那是过去的事啊!
我不再对他有什么期待... 也许是很难放下..
不过, 他让我知道一路以来他在想些什么...
或许,那个不是我要的答案, 但我试着去接受.
虽然我恨他, 但还是希望他可以开开心心的面对人生.
这里有太多太多的回忆, 我好想离开.. It's a matter of time.
或许来世吧, 我还是会选择当他的朋友...
或许有人会说,我的心窄,看不开..我逃避..
但这一切都不重要了..
再怎么努力争取, 我也试过了..
这就算是唯一一个能让我忘记他的办法.

以泪洗脸

2006-11-15T11:53:00.000+08:00

感情, 本来是件非常简单的东西. 却因为妒嫉和心机, 而变得复杂并令人彻底心痛. 正当一些心怀不轨的人设下圈套,要你一步一步掉下来, 要你痛不欲生; 你反而得活得更加精彩, 更加自在. 快乐与否, 决定权毕竟还是在你手中.

是吗? 看不见他我会不由自主地想起他; 看见他我会更心痛难过. 我恨他!! 超恨他!! 为什么会这样子? 为什么我始终放不下他? 我没尝试过吗? 我的心灵被蒙着还是我再也找不到比他更好的男生? 我快要崩溃了. 谁能救我? 他到底有什么好? 喜欢一个人很难; 要彻底忘记一个人更难! 为何我那么难受? 我很害怕我会一直等下去...越踩越深.. 我无法将自己抽出. 心痛很难受!! 你知道吗?!!

".....If fate is kind for us, our own paths will become one..." 不会实现的美丽寓言.再念下去只会让自己更心疼.

不行! 我要把我和他之间的一切回忆给毁灭!!

今年的生日愿望, 不求些什么, 只求能忘记他, 彻彻底底地忘记他...
我相信它会实现的...
爱我的人, 也会认同吧?
上帝不会对我那么残酷的, 是吗?

是时候结束了..

2006-11-14T15:26:00.000+08:00

Wake up on 2pm. I was tired and sleepy because yesterday went out for whole day.
This is the sad things. Kindly IGNORE this if you're happy.

Well..
I was eating.
At the same time, I'm reading the post. After the whole post, I threw away all my food.
It's turn me down and I am deeply hurt.
I know, it is meant to be.
I know, it should end up with broken heart.
and I understand.. what should come up the next.
I am nothing.
Hopeless.
The day before today, I am what I am.
Everything was real. No lies and No tears.
I should have notice that your ignoring to me.
The day after today..
No more calls, no more complain, no more stories..
True love?
I tell myself NO MORE!!
I have to be cruel to myself. No worries. It won't hurt that much.
Player? I am.
Liar? I am.
Loser? Totally..

梅花三弄

2006-11-13T21:09:00.000+08:00

梅花烙~

紅塵自有癡情者莫笑癡情太癡狂
若非一番寒澈骨那得梅花撲鼻香
問世間情為何物直教人生死相許
看人間多少故事最銷魂梅花三弄

梅花一弄斷人腸
梅花二弄費思量
梅花三弄風波起
雲煙深處水茫茫

鬼丈夫

柯起轩~~~~~~~~
That was my all time favourite drama series during childhood.The Plum Blossom Trilogy : Ghost Husband. Actor, Lee Zi Xi was my idol.. Actress, Yue Ling so so kiut!! Uh~ I melt!! =p

Back!!

2006-11-09T23:35:00.000+08:00

Halloooooo to all my dear friends.. Longgg time no see.. Miss me not? ;p I'm BACK!!!!!! I'm so happy because i'm home!!! Life is super duper boring without internet. You've no idea, i was like sooooooo gatal. Somemore i miss my bedroom at KK although it is small. I've no need to sleep with lights on. *LOL* Life is really normal at Tawau. Had proper meals, took shower before evening and another before 10pm, went to bed before 12. I felt like i'm so normal man. Hahaha.. Life is that simple when you're staying at a small town.

These few days were meaningful. I've managed to spend times with my grandny, my cousin yin yin & baby hong hong. Hong Hong is cute, he likes being hug. Big big eyes just like his sister. So jeng leng oOo.. Yin Yin, my favourite cousin has grown up but she is still remain her cuteness. Love her eyes because it is likes a pair of black commas. Hahaha.. ;)

I LOVE BABIES.. ;p

I guess i might grow fat because i ate alot. I ate my favourite mongolian chicken rice, gai tan cha(egg tea), seafoods, C.B.A & 1 char siew bao and 1 zu nyuk bao. Hah! Of course not in the same time.. I just love the food.

*prawns*

*Mongolian chicken*

*Gai Tan Cha*

*C.B.A*

I went to my 1st secondary school in Tawau, which is Sabah Chinese High School. A big different compare to last time. SoOoOo nice oOo.. I'm still remember the school anthem although i had been studied at 3 different secondary school. *grins* kinda proud of myself. XD

The second day, i went for a hair cut. eEeEe~ I'm not really use to it. I like my haircut as long as it doesn't looks thick.

What do you think? ;)

---------------------------
Someone are annoying me and i get pissed off. Cis! He was someone that i've ever consider to be with. Unfortunately, he talk craps toward me and he ruined everything. Sorry to say, i ignore you and i even off my number because i really hate that you hurts me. What?! You say you're just a doll for me to play with? I ignore you because i've found my own fun and friends? Tsk! Ridicolous!! Why would you say sorry to me after you've pissed me off? If you think im that f*ckin kind of person, why don't you just stay away from me! Shhss!! I said leave me alone and you asked me 'why should i leave you alone?' Now im telling you, it's because I NEED A SPACE FOR MYSELF to BREATH.

----------------

Thanks for the birthday angpausS given by my grandny and aunty. Muahhh~ Love you all. :)

You know, my grandpa wish to celebrate my 21st birthday with me. I'm touch.

*before leaving*

*eating the 2nd ice cream*

Reason

2006-11-03T18:18:00.000+08:00

FACTs when i'm drunk..
* I will talk craps.. lotsa craps.. but don't go away, i might tell you a little secret about me.
* I will admit that "I am drunk"
* I can dance well. LOL
* I can't sing well.
* I will either cry or laugh.
* I will act crazy..

-----------

Can you give me a reason why i should be with you?

Don't say you love me, cuz you don't even know me..

---------------------

Hey, why am i that special?

*drunkard*

It's because i owned a big nose but you don't. Lalala~ ;)

See ya all next week. ^^

Happy Go Lucky

2006-11-01T02:05:00.000+08:00

Wowee!! It's NOVEMBER!! My birthday month.. Wohoo.. Cheers!! It's a brand new life. I believe I could make it.

Peoples who pandang rendah at me....
Peoples who love me...
Peoples who afraid of me...
Peoples who hate me...
Peoples who never love me before...

SOON
... you'll change your mind and you'll get jealous. ;p
... you'll love me more.
... you'll get close to me.
... you'll ... still hate me. LOL
... i will prove that it's your mistake!!

Aha!! My friends who getting marry, Congratulation!! Sooner or later, i will be the next. No worries. I wish to be the most beautiful, most happiest, most HANG FUK bride in the universe!! We will wait and see..

;)

Lastly, Happy Birthday to Kingston and Clement.

193#

2006-10-29T18:17:00.000+08:00

Y it's so kecil one? Click it and look at the place that i've circled then you'll know what is in my mind. Haha!!

Well, im just too boring to stay home. I've finished watching the drama series, have to return it and take the rest episode. Im watching the latest drama "To Grow with Love". It's funny! Since that is the latest drama, I have to wait for few weeks until it's all arrived then i'll be able to watch the drama. So kesian.

Mum is not around. Shes back to Tawau for holidays with her 'sei dong'. She is having real fun this time, staying at hotel and dance around at Frequency or maybe Shore Room while i have to be so busy to catch up tons of houseworks. Somemore, i have to tahan kena bully by the old woman. How many hours, how many minuttes and how many seconds i have to be strong?

Aiyo~ Something unexpected happens.. I couldn't believe it and i have no idea how to face it. Why all these questions came towards me whenever i'm STOP thinking of being love or love? Pengsan oh!! You know, i've learned to say "no". Sometimes it works, sometimes it is not. When someone keep bothering me, i couldn't blame on them, because its just like me, "sei qin lan da". Who is my true love, and who is my Mr Right? Seriously, i got scare of it. Somehow, i guess i might quit from the world of love. NO LOVE! Hah! Nowadays, recieving non stop of phone calls and smsES, im not sure it is fun or not but my poor phone have to stay with the charger from hours to hours.

Once again, i found another 2 Tawau long lost friends. Chat with them are fun. Reminds me of my secondary school life at Sabah Chinese High School. One of them getting marry, probably will be next year. I'm shocked that she told me who has already get married. Gee.. most of my friends were married. She is soooo curious why am i still single. Why? Long story. Somemore, she said she will intro me some leng zai friends for me. Adui.. better stay away from me.. I had enough of it.

I guess that's it for today. ;)

SS

2006-10-28T03:03:00.000+08:00

Sot sial. >.<

Countdown: a month..

I hate LOVE!! I hate GUY!! and i definately HATE-so-much of being HURT!! Im just wondering why can't i just fucking get over you? Why is it so fucking difficult? You know, i am very stressful to face it by myself. How can you just close your eyes, be cool and let it happen? Aren't you a human being? But where is your heart? Liars!! You're fuckin Selfish!!

notti

2006-10-26T12:33:00.000+08:00

King, the big damn scary drunk eye & me

*bluek*

You're my honey bunch, sugar plum, pumpy umpy umpkin, you're my sweety pie.

You're my cuppy cake, gum drop, snookum snookums pure, you're the apple of my eye.

And i love you so, and i want you know that i'll always be right here.

And i love~~ to sing these songs to you because you..are..so..dear...

*big big grin*

Selamat Hari Raya

2006-10-25T13:45:00.000+08:00

Today is 25th oOo.. A grand wedding ceremony is happening at Tawau. Unfortunately, i can't attend and im just stuck in my house. T.T Early morning, i'd recieved a mms from my dear Q Q, he sent the picture of the wedding ceremony in the church to me. Eiyer yerrrr~ and i've just missed it!! How i wish i could be there. ~~~>.<~~~

Uiyo, almost forget that tomorrow is my parent's 20th wedding anniversary. Ehehehe.. It seems to be a normal day..nothing special. =/

AaaAaHhhhH~~~ I am so so so longing to step into college and FEEL & SMELL the college life.. But once i step in, i guess i will start complain this and that. No more 'everyday is my holiday'. Have to be super hardworking and struggle cause this is about my future. God Bless Me!!

Last night was totally...totally...eh..WHATEVER. Me and my friends were held a suprise birthday party for Kingston. How we called it as 'suprise party'? 1st, Connie and Debra had suggest that to take dinner at Debra's place. Then Kingston called up the friends. BUT, we all rejected Kings' invitation with all kind of reasons. Kings was dissapointed. HAHA.. Our plan is half success. 8 sharp at night, we all meet up at Tanjung Aru Plaza then we altogether headed to Waikiki. When reached Deb's place, me, Deb, Kelly and Don busy to set up all the stuffs. At the same time, i realised that there's no food but only liquors and beers. Geee.. Im getting hungry and i haven't eat since morning. Don and I decided to go 7 Eleven to buy some junk foods and ice. At the mean time, Kingston called. Hahaha.. I had a funny conversation with him.

Kings: "Christy, are you coming or not? I pick you up la now."
Me : " Nola, i have my own programme."
Kings: " What's your programme then?"
Me : " Aiyo, am going to Starbucks with my friends"
Kings: " Yala, follow your friends la.. I will remember that.. "
(He starts merajuk)
Me : " Yerrr.. What oOo? Your guys have fun la.."
Kings: " I heard that the drinks from Starbucks are not nice."
Me : =.= " Let me try 1st lo.."
Kings: " Yala, follow your jiao bet friends la.."
Me : " Ah then, go to Debra's place for what eh?"
Kings: "Drink la.."
Me : " Drink only? I want food eh"
Kings: " Got food la.. but abit..."
Me : "Abit? Hmm, nevermind la.. See 1st ler.."
Kings: " Actually kan, i don't wanted you to go bah. I'm hoping you to say No."
Me : " WUAT?!! "
Kings: " Hehe.. "
Me : " Why u call me then?"
Kings: " Bah, just asking kan.."
Me : " Bloody hell.."
Kings: " Hahahaha.."
Me : " Ish.. Don't kacau me la.. I need to hung up and go shower."
Kings: " bah..bah.."

He was trying to piss me off. But then, i knew he was dissapointed. You know, sengaja?
S-E-N-G-A-J-A Hahaha.. While on the way back to Deb's place after 7 Eleven, Kingston called Don and asked him to go. Don rejected him says that he is on the way to his cousin's place. Wohoo.. I can imagine how dissapointed he is..

We expected its not that suprise because we parked our car somewhere near the entrance. They told me that foods are serve and FINALLY i saw satays and chicken wings. Around 8.30pm, they spoted King's car was driving into the entrance. He was here!! Well, they all were waiting his arrive while im busy at the kitchen. After awhile, i heard Kingston shout my name at the corridor. Adeiii... >.<

Then he cames in, and all of us say 'suprise'.. He was like a xiu xiu miao.. LOL!

Makan, minum, chit-chat, karaoke....bla bla bla.. They're drunk and gone crazy. Everyone except me were CRAZY!! I was worrying how should i back home.. Thank God, i back home safely but its already 3am. Before back home, went to Don's place for drink. Not me but Russ.

Something funny about Don is, he says he wanna back home 1st, but, we saw him still standing outside of the lift when we all came out from Deb's place. He told us that he can't find the way out and he kept berpusing-pusing in the condo. ROFLMAO!

Oh! Ou~ I guess somethings went wrong with my photo uploader.

Hah, that's it. Hula hula~

Break News

2006-10-24T15:25:00.000+08:00

*BIG sigh* Qiqi has dead. =(( I am damn sad right now. Yesterday i picked him up from my neighbour's place, he was still ok. But today when i was going to clean the aquarium, i saw he was like...nyawa nyawa ikan.. After few hours of 'fight hard for life', he is really dead. =(( There's no more bubble fishy in my house. ~~>.<~~ I bet that Qiqi miss Wawa alots, hope he could be with Wawa right after this.

What am i talking about?!!

Wuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwu~

On Vacation

2006-10-24T12:44:00.000+08:00

My name & some footprints

2 days ago, i was on vacation to Kudat. We've found a beautiful sandy beach there and we named it as 'Lagoon' (actually that is my dad and his friend's idea) It's so beautiful. You can see either deep blue sea or shinny silver sea.. The air...are so refreshing.. ;)

The weather is hot but its windy. There's a western guy cames from Netherland talked to me for awhile. I guess he wanted to take pictures with me. Haha.. but he is just too shy. LOL!

Wowee!!

2006-10-20T15:41:00.000+08:00

Things that could cheer me up..

-*- I'd recieve my biu gosS' wedding invitation. KaboOoOoOoOmM~

-*- College life gonna get start soooooon by next year. That's what im longing. *grins* All i need to do now are, to go to college & apply for the course, and and and... SHOP FOR MUA's NEW OUTFIT!! ;)

-*- MALAYSIAN enjoy 5 days public holidays start from tomorrow until 25th cuz we're celebrating Deepavali & Hari Raya Adilfitri. Everyday is my holiday. =p

-*- I'd swear, I MUST get back my money from the DAMN STUPID LIAR!!

-*- My parents are having their 20th Wedding Anniversary on next Thursday same as 26th of October. 可喜可贺 yo~

Things that bring me down...

-*- I'm having absolute pain that drives me crazy.. *sniff sniff*

-*- Mum says i looks PUCAT & mata putih jadi mata kuning.. kinda unhealthy wor.. What happen? What happen? >.<

I guess that's it. Not feeling well. Ciaoz

我的眼中钉

2006-10-19T17:33:00.000+08:00

特征: 一头短卷发,样子凶神恶煞。

缺点: 自大,霸道,无知,偏心,自私,丑陋,outdated,头脑简单.四肢发达, 脾气暴躁,无聊,三八,狗眼看人低, 姓 “赖”，狡猾，贪得无厌，欺人，愚蠢，说话不经大脑，鸡婆，人见人恨，自以为是,得罪人多.称呼人少!!

优点：尚未发现。

Comment: 讨人厌!!没得救!!

Announcement

2006-10-16T19:15:00.000+08:00

Dear*yinG^xu3`* friends,

No post will be update right after this for a short period. Sorry for the incovenience and grateful for your concern.

Yours faithfully,

Ken

Thought

2006-10-15T17:07:00.000+08:00

Current mood:- dissapointed, upset, fed up..and so on

Dear you,

Some words when spoken, such as some actions when done could cut deep. The only way to get over is to ignore it. Somehow someday, the deep wound will become just a small scar.. and one day will finally diminish, for time heals..

=((

Beautiful on the inside

2006-10-14T12:41:00.000+08:00

Been reading Chicken soup for the soul's Beautiful on the inside, a very good and virtuous story.

Writer Pamela J,deRoy states that Love is a wonderful thing. You never have to take it away from one person to give it to another. There's always more than enough to go around.

Being beautiful on the inside is a choice you make. To be good to your parents, a good sister to your brother and a good friend to the others you hang around with. You have to care about other people. You need to be caring and loving when someone is in trouble or gets hurt and needs a friend. When you do all those things, you are beautiful on the inside.

;)

Moral learnt.

Lavender

2006-10-13T18:11:00.000+08:00

The clearest sky imaginable, the hazy outline of smoky blue hills in the distance, and below as far as the eye can see, a gentle carpet of purple hues is billowing. Rounded bushes with long spikes of flowers are slowly coming into focus. Endless rows of luscious lavender hug the countors of the hillside, rising in serried ranks to meet the edge of eucalyptus forests beyond...

Lavender blue, dilly dilly.

Lavender green

when i am king, dilly dilly

you shall be queen.

;)

爱人与被爱

2006-10-12T01:55:00.000+08:00

在我工作期间,通过我妈介绍,认识一位老人家.因为当时我妈认为他可以在公事上助我一臂之力.他是我妈在我弟的学校认识的.这位老人家,我们都称他为 Mr Diong.他非常非常地关心我.为的只是他的宝贝儿子.他渴望我去认识他的儿子,更好的话,和他发展.

认识我的朋友都知道我前一份工作是帮人申请信用卡.每天都要去寻找新的顾客,说服他们使用Citibank的信用卡.有一天,我就拨了一通电话给 Mr Diong,因为之前听说他很乐意助人,相信他会帮我一个忙.就这样,约了下午的时间,地点就在他的办公室 wisma sabah里.我依着所约的时间,到他办公室.办公室只有他,他的弱智女儿和他的秘书.他很开心能见到我.话题就开始了.

首先,我向他道明来意.过后,他就吩咐秘书为我泡茶.同一时间,他拿了许多的照片,大部分的照片都是关于他的工作 -他是从事伐木业- 一小部分是他的家庭.他也拿出了一些图,这些图对他十分重要,非常机密.他透露哪里是他的黄金地带.他希望我能保持秘密.他相似在和我透露他有多少百万身家.不久,他就拿出一张照片.看着照片,我第一个反应是"天啊!怎么会这样子?" 从我脸上的表情,他似乎知道我在想些什么.他说,这个是我的儿子.我静静地听他说.他儿子一生下来就是这样,可是他非常荣幸有这个儿子因为....生了儿子一段时间后,老婆怀孕了.十月怀胎,终于生下一个女的,拼成一对'好'字.可是过了不久,医生检验到他的女儿是弱智的.难免感到失望.他说不管怎样都好,他们始终是他和太太的亲生骨肉.再怎么辛苦也好,都要一手把他们养大.现在,他感到很骄傲,因为他的儿子有了成就,一份不错的工作.他还把他的儿子的名片给了我,希望我能和他交朋友.而且,他还拍了我的照片.顺便,他向我解释.一向来,他都是从事牧师的工作.当天晚上,我将事情的一五一十告诉我妈.她笑说,她老早已经知道他对我好的理由.

当时的我,很抗拒..心里说,我怎么可以跟他儿子有什么关系呢? 我非常的徘彻..不是我看样子才和男生交往.起码,要有一个标准的样子.

至今,Mr Diong都还是很关心我,时不时都在我妈或朋友面前提起我.叫我找机会念书..一大堆的.. 回想一下,其实我这样徘彻别人是不对的.甚至有点可怜他.Mr Diong曾向我提过为何他儿子不肯接受整容.儿子和他说,那是上帝赐给他的,所以,他不想有任何一些改变.这样的想法很伟大.他不顾及别人的流言蜚语,在这样的逆境成长,现在还有一番成就.我觉得自己很自私.

我相信.有残缺的人都比一般人更珍惜身边的人.他们所付出得都是真爱.为什么我们不能给他们一次机会过着正常人的生活呢?

我几乎已经放弃爱人的权利,很想好好地享受被爱的感觉..对自己,为何说不呢?

Season of wedding

2006-10-11T01:17:00.000+08:00

当开取msn messager的时候,查看下,有位来自斗湖的朋友.他的msn写着'getting engage'. 认识我的人都知道,我是一个死三八,什么事情都不能错过.追问下,他承认是要向他的女友订婚,他的父母亲也同意.女方来自butterworth.但是,还未曾见过对方家长,所以事情就搁着啦!和他谈了不久,他爆说他几个月前才认识那位女生.问他何时才和她在一起,他答几个星期前.我顿时,傻了!!我的妈呀! 现在流行超早婚吗? 再问他为什么那么快想"拉埋天窗",他说,他找到一种前所未有的感觉.

婚姻对我而言是人生中非....常重要的一部分.若是真的,得看对方是不是自己的真爱,对自己对家人会是怎样...等等的..才能浪漫地说出"yes i do". 毕竟婚前与婚后有很大的差别.怎样的差别呢? 若你有收看"女人唔易做"就最好不过了.因为,它的故事是演绎着现代的女人的生活,事业及婚姻.从中,男人和女人都可以得到启示.我本身对婚姻其实有一点恐惧.因为...父母亲就是最好的例子.就算能找到一个绝世好男人娶你.样子,钱财,整颗心都有.可是,一丁点的距离和不信任都会造成分开你们的理由.婚姻是一辈子.所有人都希望自己能找到真正的幸福.若是找到了,就要懂得珍惜.俩人要互相懂得维持那一份感情,一些争吵是难免的.争吵中,会更认识对方.争吵后,要知道自己的对与错,然后加以更改.

不管怎样都好,他始终都是我的朋友,在此,衷心祝福他.对了!!我怎么可以忘了呢!! 刚才我收到我三个表哥的超级红炸弹!!三个表哥会在同一时间结婚,摆酒 oOo.这是前所未有的呖! 百座席,千人宴..超盛大!超壮观! 只可惜我无法参与..更遗憾的是,少了机会muk靓仔! >.< 我要回斗湖!!!

With praise and thanksgiving to God

Mr & Mrs Jeffrey Shim Chok Guan

cordially request the pleasure of the company of

Christy Liew Shing Yii

to share in the joy of the marriage of their sonS

Jeffrey Jr. Chi Hui to Alpin Kansil @ Choo,

the second daughter of

Mr & Mrs Alex Kansil @ Choo

Jason Chi Yunn to Cavy Yuen Wan Yee,

the only daughter of

Mr & Mrs Yuen Tek Pang

Jefferson Chi Tzen to Ivy Koh Hiau She,

the youngest daughter of

Mr & Mrs Koh Teck Hong

which will be solemnized at the

St. Patrick's Church, Tawau

Wednesday,25 October 2006

10.00 am followed by a tea reception.

You are also invited to the wedding banquet at

Lau Gek Poh Foundation Building

Jalan Durahman, Mile 1/2

Jalan Tanjung Batu, Tawau

at 6.30pm.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!! Hell! Im gonna miss it!! =((

原味

2006-10-10T22:58:00.000+08:00

冷冷的天气,思念着暖暖的拥抱 ;)

My dearest Grandpa

2006-10-10T02:45:00.000+08:00

人会生老病死..我们都要接受.可是,眼前正在生病的人是你至亲,你会怎样? 很想帮他,却无能为力.只能静静呆在一旁,默默祈祷,盼望他会痊愈.他是最疼爱我的外公.近年来,身体不舒服.有好几次都要住院观察.今天妈咪很无奈地告诉我,公公的肝开始硬化,上次检验到他的心脏有问题,排血系统不好..等等..相似什么病统统都到齐了.妈咪也说,公公会离开我们,那是迟早的事.我听了,整颗心好像掉进谷底.整个人呆了.我好想哭,可是哭不出来..他和婆婆俩可是世界上最疼爱,超宠我的人,妈咪有时都会吃醋.如果他离开,我真的不知该如何是好.无论以前犯过什么错,他们都是最早原谅我的人.每一次出外国游玩,他们一定会带很多礼物给我.公公在斗湖有一点小名气,认识他的人居多,所以我觉得自豪.公公是一位受人尊敬,爱戴的老人家.公公不开玩笑时很认真,一笑起来却很慈祥.小时候,他们都带我到处游玩..生日派对也是他们帮我搞的.什么东西最好的,他们一定会送给我.今年中,因为工作的关系要回斗湖走一趟,所以要寄宿在公公的家.那时侯的他非常削瘦,没有精神似的.旁人看了,都会觉得心疼.医生说他因为体重过量,排血系统出了问题,长时间内会造成生命危险.医生要他减轻体重,依时看病吃药.在那期间,他吃得很少.可能是营养不足,药性强,弄得他身体弱,无时无刻都疲倦想睡觉.听者心酸.他承受着痛苦,为了我们,他都隐藏起来.现在的我不知如何是好.我真的希望他早日康复.May God hears my prayer.

** taken during chinese new year 06

** mami, grandpa & me (he looks very healthy)

** taken on his birthday 06, i wasn't around. >.<

--------

--------------

-------- few months later

--------------

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** He looks so difference. Poor gung gung :((

176

2006-10-07T23:54:00.000+08:00

又是一个寂寞的夜晚..租来的"人生马戏团"也大结局了.雨下了一场又一场,下得我的心也超级烦燥!! 何时才会停雨呢? 期盼着它会停雨.

考验? 这会是怎样的考验? 等待,恐怕只是一段没有开始也没有结束的感情.

相隔两地,果真的很辛苦. 不仅要面对相思之苦,还要面对种种的考验.但是,只要对方能维持一份信念,什么样的障碍都可以一一克服.

他,一直在寻找一个能了解他的女生.可是,他始终没解开心里的锁.试问,有谁能够了解他,帮助他? 能有谁能每一次猜测他在想什么? 经历了一次爱情失败,从此就把自己给封锁在黑暗里,这样的他会快乐吗? 看着他,心里会有一股莫名的痛.

这一两年来,我一直都在坚持,因为我相信我们之间有希望.

但,人总会累.

若有一天,眼泪停止流下.我相信我已不再爱他.

Shopping Queen for ONCE

2006-10-05T14:19:00.000+08:00

Too boring and was so unhappy to stay home. Went out with my lao po to shop like mad! First we went to damai to take our breakfast. Rain and wind blows heavily but couldn't stop our motivation. Then we took taxi to Wisma Merdeka, our shopping journey get started. After few hours, lao po's boy boy picked us up to Center. We shopped until 9 then back home. Oops, should say, just me who back home.

Things that i bought and prices---
* Crystal Bracelet rm 128
* Reload coupon rm 10
* 3 Inch high heels rm 70
* Blouse rm 42
* Skirt rm 40
* 2 Copped Jacket rm 94
* 4 Magazines rm 50
* Gift rm 94
* Jean, Singlet & accesories rm 79
* Elianto facial products rm 50
* Others rm 30
Total rm 687

I've lost the facial products, not even know where'd i lost it. *sigh* Well, im not rich but im stressful.I just wanted some excitement, so that's it. Stay home ALONE and always are really bad for me. I wanted to do something like maybe attend a dance class, yoga as well.. But im just being lazy.

Things i MUST done by tomorrow or soon are ---
# Buy and deliver mooncakes for relatives & friends!! -sounds so aunties hor, but im just too kind, 孝順 *grins*-
# Hair cut

I guess that's all. I'm hungry and i need to find something to eat. Anyway, tomorrow is mooncake festival. Must sit nyet biang, yim cha, diao den lung oOo.. Have fun! ^ ^

Haze. Rain. Thunder

2006-10-04T00:52:00.000+08:00

Moody, because of the weather. Really unhealthy. Human will easily fall sick due to stupid Forest Fire that happens at Indonesia AGAIN!! See this . Poor citizens of Indonesia, Malaysia and Singapore.. Poor lil me.. Haih.. Gut tiu tung oOo.. Gettin sick. =/ Kena shocked somemore by the thunder. Hopefully tomorrow will be alright. ^ ^

Everything I'm Not

2006-10-02T14:45:00.000+08:00

This morning
-I got 40 friend requests and 11 messages @ myspace. NONE of them is female. I've just approved 2 guys out of 40 to-be-my-friend-but-they-are-not. As usual, i got some weird messages. I'll never reply except if i find out you're something special. LOL

-I haven't eat anything yet.

-I'm not suppose to wake up early because i've done my houseworks. zZz

-when i look at the mirror, i saw swollen eyes. T.T

-I found out the correct spelling for phylopdelphia is p-h-i-l-a-d-e-l-p-h-i-a. Cee.. What's that means la?

-I forgot to pass the vcds to my mum.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Oh no
Don't go changing
That's what you told me from the start
Thought you were something different
That's when it all just fell apart
Like you're so perfect
And I can't measure up
Well I'm not perfect
Just all messed up

I was losing myself to somebody else
But now I see
I don't wanna pretend
So this is the end of you and me
Cause the girl that you want
She was tearing us apart
Cause she's everything
Everything I'm not

It's not like I need somebody
Telling me where I should go at night
Don't worry you'll find somebody
Someone to tell how to live their life
Cause your so perfect
And no one measures up
You're all by yourself
and all messed up

I was losing myself to somebody else
But now I see
I don't wanna pretend
So this is the end of you and me
Cause the girl that you want
She was tearing us apart
Cause she's everything
Everything I'm not

Now wait a minute
Because of you
I never knew all the things that I had
Hey don't u get it
I'm not going anywhere with you tonight
Cause this is my life

I was losing myself to somebody else
But now I see
I don't wanna pretend
So this is the end of you and me
Cause the girl that you want
She was tearing us apart
Cause she's everything
Everything I'm not

But now I see
I don't wanna pretend
So this is the end of you and me
Cause the girl that you want
She was tearing us apart
Cause she's everything
Everything I'm not

*** The Veronicas

昨夜...

2006-10-02T13:47:00.000+08:00

下了一場大雨, 那么清凉的天气, 还有谁无法入睡, 恐怕只有我罢了.

这一夜很难熬.

回想起以前所发生的事, 我只能叹息.

很无奈, 也很无助.

----------

妈咪望了望窗外就说, 身在外国的他一定很可怜吧.

我: 别再提起他了.

妈咪露出很好奇的样子.

我: 我和他不曾在一起,也未必能在一起, 所以...

妈咪哑然无声.想再进一步告诉她发生什么事,她似乎不想再听下去.转身就回房间去了.

妈咪是否也和我一样? 对他有所失望?

----------

我心中有太多太多的疑问.

这两年内所发生的事,他真的可以只把我当成朋友吗?

有很多事情,只有男人可以做到的,但女人做不到的, 这就是其中一件.

tragic hor..

而男人做不到,女人却可以的,也就是默默等待.

----------

褪色了的回憶

2006-10-02T13:37:00.000+08:00

** 粉紅怪胎 & 藍穎雪 **

170

2006-10-01T17:32:00.000+08:00

Last night i was drunk. I still remembered who did i called and what'd i talked and i cried. Cried soooo hard.. so loud.. until my mum knew about it. GREAT!! F*cking great!! She wants to find out what's happen to me.

男主角是誰,她根本都不曉得.
她唯一很確定的是, 我被傷得很深.

sigh.

假如,有一天,她知道傷害我的人是他.
她會怎樣?
我不知道..
在所有人的面前,我套上假面具.
沒有人知道我是誰..

Bulb

2006-09-29T22:54:00.000+08:00

Today is friday, i don't even realise it until my whole family told me. My life is kinda empty.. What a waste!! =/

I found out a song -actually it's from Ray- OST from an indonesia movie "My Heart".. It's so soft and nice..

If we love somebody could we be this strong,
i will fight to win, our love will conquer all,
I wouldn't risk my love,
even just one night,
Our love will stay in my heart..
my heart..

Somemore, the singers and also the actor and actress for this movie, Irwansyah and Acha Septriasa are sooo handsome and cute!! The movie is showing now. IF im free, im gonna watch it. -im not that busy, just that...- But before that, I WANNA WATCH the DEVIL WEARS PRADA!!!

Bastarddddddd!! You know, I hate you sooo much!!! Why are you keep calling me since im ignoring you? Tak cukup kena marah issit? I hate to see you, listen to your voice!! You thought i will call you after your stupid missed calls right? Im not that stupid!! Can't you just leave me alone? Hng!!

Last night, i saw an accident happened, just in front of Lee Wong Kee. The wira crashed after hits the van. Luckily, nobody injure. Van is ok, but the wira, men men lan lan. Proton is still proton.

Sigh. What's happen to me actually? Im being soooooo impatient!! Fine! Im not going to find out what's wrong with me.. Left it and let it be..

快乐是选择

2006-09-27T14:19:00.001+08:00

我竟然沒有調頭最殘忍那一刻

靜靜看你走一點都不像我

原來人會變得溫柔

是透澈的懂了

愛情是流動的不由人的何必激動著要理由

相信你只是怕傷害我不是騙我很愛過誰會捨得

把我的夢搖醒了宣布幸福不會來了

用心酸微笑去原諒了也翻越了有昨天還是好的

但明天是自己的開始懂了快樂是選擇

-my all time favourite-

Missing of ..

2006-09-26T01:01:00.004+08:00

You know, it's a fun to talk with Elisa nowadays. Laughters never end. She reminds me of my past. The way she talk, the way she act..and the way she smile.. super duper sweet hor.. Haha! She became MORE girly.. What makes her change alot? Haha.. Its our secret, girls' secret. Shhh!!

Hmm.. Im planing to study. Probably will start by next year Jan. and now i am wondering which course shall i take? Dad ask me to study 'RFP' (Registered Financial Planner) but i want to take Mass Comm. What should i do? I've no idea at all. Which one is better but easier? =p Nothing is easy without hardwork right? Anyway, i will figure it out soon.

Well, Mid Auturm Festival is around the corner, it falls on 6th of October. I've tasted a few different flavour's moon cakes, but i will just stick to Green Tea moon cake and maybe red dates eh.. Yum yum~ =D~~~ Ohya, im gonna find my powerpuff's lanterns, but still i have to look for more POWERPUFF's lantern.

I miss ying xue very much. She is just too far away from me. =/

The most 8 gung ever

2006-09-24T19:42:00.000+08:00

Noisy!! Very noisy in my house!! I'm wondering why they have such freaky topics to talk about.. Headache! Super headache when listen to what my youngest brother talk. He is such a walking burung pipit! When ask him to study, he'll either diam diam or yawn.. *Gek sei aka mou ngan tai*

Last night... should say this early morning. I talked to a guy named, Edison Liew K.T. I was admire him during secondary school at Tawau. *LOL* Reminds me of those memories. I was so silly could say. He is damn gam dung *i guess* cause i'm still remember things had happen between me and him. He will ask me out for a dinner or drink next week. He did ask me many questions..such as do i have a bf.. bla bla bla.. Seems like he have a lil special feelings for me. Hahahaha.. He became so fatttttt!! Yikes!! =x Anyway, he is married and he has a 2 years old child. From the way he talked about his wife, i guess they are having some arguements. He admit that he is ah pek, kinda outdated. But he is still FLIRTY, funny as well.. Somemore, he encourage me that im not suppose to fully trust guys.. Wuahaha! I can't believe these kind of words would came out from his mouth. We've talked for almost one hour i guess. What a long time..

*sigh* A bully case just happened at Damai. One of the pembully, i guess he is one of my friend (the one who smoke) From that case, can shows that how pathetic they are. Idiot!! Toh soi ka!! I hate them very much! What they think they are? Hopefully the kid will tell the truth and let those f*ckin toh soi ka end up in jail. Im very kesian the kid. Kena tendang, pukul, tampar.. etc etc. Four of them are really sampah masyarakat!! Click here to view the short clip.

Well well, im gonna take my shower. See ya!

2#

2006-09-22T13:54:00.000+08:00

To C,
Though distance limits our touch,
your voice still lingers in my head,
i see your perfection when i close my eyes,
the air that surrounds me is laced with your scent,
and my heart is flooded with my feelings for you.
Absence has never seen such pain before.

1#

2006-09-20T22:22:00.000+08:00

萤火虫萤火虫慢慢飞~

这首歌飘浮在脑海中,是由妈咪唱起来的..
很多事情好像快要发生,正在改变..好害怕.
发生了会是怎样?
它们快要把我逼疯了!!

To C,
今天是20号.你并不知道今天会发生什么事.其实我已经告诉了你.不过我已经拒绝了他.为什么呢? 我觉得,和他在一起只会负了他.
说实,我是逃避着你.因为不要让你太难过.我想,以后我只能在此和你说话了.
看到你的部落格后,很悲伤.你说你在后悔因为你做出一些不该做的事情,但,你有没想过我的感受? 你认为你自己对不起我,就刻意对我冷.你好自私!你从来都不知道你这个样子更令我难受! 起初,我 blocked了你的 msn,过后 release了你.一整天盯着你的msn看,但阻止自己和你谈话.很难受!我希望我这么做,你会好一点.

折磨

2006-09-20T19:10:00.000+08:00

也许是我笨, 不会掩饰我的感情
我是傻瓜..是一辈子的大傻瓜..
知道是不可能的,还要一直在追..
一直都在伤害着自己, 为的只是一个奇迹..
但我是清楚明白,奇迹永远都不会发生..

妈咪以为我和他会在一起.一直都在默默地支持我.每次和他出去,妈咪都会很放心,甚至住在他家.因为他们从来都没看见自己的女儿那么认真过.可是,他们从不知道,我为了这段感情付出,牺牲了多少...到最后这段爱不会开花结果..

他说,到现在没有人能懂他..
就算遇到了那一个女生,他们还是不能在一起..
他,不曾让我去明白他.

看着他和另一个女生幸福地在一起,我真的会快乐吗?

两年了..
时间一秒一秒地过
而我,一直都在等待..
等待着离开..*苦笑*

爱情.婚姻

2006-09-19T00:44:00.000+08:00

世界到底是怎么了? 相爱的人不能在一起,那就算了.相爱的人在一起了,为何又出现波折? 20年的感情,会因为种种的波折与问题,最后会化为乌有吗? 世上没有一个人能够知道未来,但是,每一个人都可以避免事情的发生.知道是错的,就该回头,不应继续.男人和女人都是平等的.选择了在一起,就得学着如何珍惜与包容.世上因为有爱,我们才可以在一起.不管多大男人,女人都好,知错了就得悔改.婚姻是两者的事,是关于一辈子的幸福.贪婪,只会毁了所有.不要因为一时的快乐,造成一辈子的悔恨.

爱.忠诚.信任能治好心里的伤痕.

Hua Hua

2006-09-14T16:32:00.000+08:00

花
夾雜在人海中
卻找尋不到我

花
在衆多的叫喊聲中
我的聲音是如此的微弱

花
舍弃手中紧握的地圖
跟着感覺無拘束的走来

花
向着回響在耳邊心聲的方向

花
合上双眼不要害怕

花
合上双眼不要悲傷

花
在人生的路上
希望有我

花
不要向誰去尋問你的路

花
不要再彷徨迷惘

花
茫茫人海中有我在等代

没有回应的爱

2006-09-07T14:37:00.000+08:00

如果有一天,

我离开了你..

但你一直都要相信,

我依然还是那么爱你..

也许有那么一天,

相爱的人就能够在一起..

Heavily Broken

2006-09-07T02:22:00.000+08:00

Everyday I sit here waiting
Everyday just seems so long
And now I've had enough of all the hating
Do we even care, it's so unfair
Any day it'll all be over
Any day there's nothing new
And I just try to find some hope
To try to hold onto
Then it starts again
It'll never end

I'm heavily broken
And I don't know what to do
Can't you see that I'm choking
And I can't even move
When there's nothing left to say
What can you do
I'm heavily broken
And there's nothing I can do

Almost giving up on trying
Almost heading for a fall
And now my mind is screaming out
I've gotta keep on fighting
But then it starts again
It'll never end

I'm heavily broken
And I don't know what to do
Can't you see that I'm choking
And I can't even move
When there's nothing left to say
What can you do?
I'm heavily broken

Feels like I'm drowning
I'm screaming for air (Screaming for air)
Louder I'm crying
And you don't even care

I'm heavily
And I don't know what to do
Can't you see that I'm choking
And I can't even move (What can I do)
When there's nothing left to say
What can you do
I'm heavily broken

I'm heavily broken
And I don't know what to do
Can't you see that I'm choking
And I can't even move
When there's nothing left to say
What can you do
I'm heavily broken
And theres nothing i can do
And theres nothing i can do

幸福意外

2006-09-04T15:49:00.000+08:00

踢开门的那一瞬间
你和他拥抱的画面
玫瑰花掉落在身边
眼泪漂浮在花瓣间
付出的愤怒和可怜
坦诚相见

我们的故事就像是 xx 它一遍又一遍

幸福的意外太快
我像个傻瓜发呆
才发现公主王子的梦已不存在
幸福的意外太快
快等来不及去猜
我不明白
三个人一个故事太奇怪

游荡在漆黑的空间
幻想着挑拨在一天
看不见的梦太危险
剧情像意图又发现
付出的心情和可怜
没有明天

我们的故事就像是 xx 它一遍又一遍

幸福的意外太快
我像个傻瓜发呆
才发现公主王子的梦已不存在
幸福的意外太快
快等来不及去猜
我不明白
三个人一个故事太奇怪

在你的生日
你送我一个礼物叫作伤害
我不敢打开也不明白
爱情会变 Goodbye 那么容易
我要的未来
你给我沧海
该怎么解脱

幸福的意外太快
我像个傻瓜发呆
才发现公主王子的梦已不存在
幸福的意外太快
快等来不及去猜
我不明白
三个人一个故事太奇怪

*sigh* This lyric abit cacat.. cause i really can't hear what are the words..

For me, this song is nice.. It talks about three person in a relationship. I guess there're lots of peoples haven't knew about the song yet.. If you could find this song, you must listen to it.

Today, actually is the day im leaving off to KL with a group of friends. But, tidak jadi at last... It's because of something ler.. Something that i think it is worth for it. :)

愛

2006-09-03T12:36:00.000+08:00

私は愛が心のちょうど蜃気楼だったことを考えた、
それは錯覚である、
それは見つけること不可能な私が会った日偽造品であるが、

私は愛が実質であり、私にあること見始めた。

私は空にあなたの名前を書いたが、
風はそれを離れた吹いた。

私は砂にあなたの名前を書いたが、
波はそれを洗浄した。

私は私の中心にあなたの名前を書き、永久にとどまる。

^^v Find out yourself..

Merdeka

2006-08-31T13:57:00.000+08:00

Today is Merdeka Day.. Merdeka! Merdeka! Merdeka!

It's a bad day... My gold yen gu luk (bulat-bulat) fishy, Wawa has died. :'( Im so sad..

Too boring issit?

2006-08-30T15:34:00.000+08:00

[22:01] * Cryptanalysis (adk@60.52.51.168) has joined #desnudo
[22:01] * ChanServ sets mode: +o Cryptanalysis
[22:01] * Cryptanalysis is now known as Adriel
[22:30] -Adriel- ;p
[22:46] * yinG^xu3` slaps Adriel around a bit with a large trout
[22:46] -yinG^xu3`- didnt go out?
[22:48] -Adriel- ;o
[22:48] -Adriel- nope :\
[22:48] -Adriel- maybe later to the coffee shop
[23:04] -yinG^xu3`- coffee shop again?
[23:04] -yinG^xu3`- what so nice at there?
[23:12] -Adriel- ;o
[23:12] -Adriel- nothing
[23:14] -yinG^xu3`- nah....got something tht
[23:15] -Adriel- yups
[23:15] -Adriel- lepak with the kaling, watch hindi movie together
[23:16] -Adriel- nga nga there, with our mouth wide open
[23:16] -Adriel- then hampas hampas meja when the bad people come out in the tv
[23:16] -Adriel- siok kan

Looks like he is sooo boring.. but kinda funny while look at what he type.. I am thinking that give him some bananas, he should be happy.. =p

寫給回不去的曾經

2006-08-29T17:12:00.000+08:00

陌生.人

下一個秋天,你可會想起我?
或許下一個秋天,我們已分散在兩個不同的國度了.
只是,你可會想起我?

那是一個明亮的早晨,
沉默寡言的你递來一顆小小的傷風藥丸,
那一刻,我的心就開始沉淪了.
或許你並不知道,
在我體內擴散的不只是藥力,
還有一種莫名的悸動.

秋天早已過去,
寒冷而漫長的冬天,
你是否也一樣孤單一個?

冬去春來,夏又走了,
這個秋天,你是明亮的黃色,
藍色似乎早已離你遠去.
眉宇間難以察覺的冷漠,
像你一貫的沉默.

冬天走了,
你也走了.

你的離開讓人措手不及.
或許,
有些人,他只可以當情人,
要不,他永遠是你生命中的一個陌生人.

謝謝你讓我知道,
原來喜歡一個人,
是一件那麼苦的事.

玩美

2006-08-29T16:13:00.000+08:00

這一刻,也終於勇敢說愛你!!

Fuh~ Finally i've done my housework.. These few days, i am so so so free.. And im so so so boring.. I did lent a TVB drama entitle " A pillow case of mystery ", and im watching it everyday. Staring by Bobby Tan and leng lui Guo Ke Ying.

At this time, it is raining, im just wondering how they gonna jog? Raining cats and dogs!! Poor Russ..

I haven't recover yet. Still cough like hell.. It's getting worse b'cause i didn't take the medicine and the antibiotic. Im just being too lazy.. and i think the medicine doesn't work at all. I hope i would be ok without any medicine. =p

Budak was suddenly back to kk. Such a suprise. Anyway, he didn't look for me. I told myself nevermind then... *sigh*

Might going to further my study.. Lim Kok Wing, Institute Optopreneur are my choice. It takes me 3 years for studying. Might not coming back anymore. I mean i may migrate to somewhere else. So lonely~ *pokes myself* Im ok with it.. i guess.. Haha..

Sot sot de...

2006-08-28T20:02:00.000+08:00

King: Your boy boy is back d..
Christy: Har?
King: Your boy bah.. hehe..
Christy: huh? *scratch head*
King: Yalah, your boy boy la..
Christy: So what? Not my boy also..
King: haha..
Christy: Sot! K lah bye..
King: What's happen oh?
Christy: Nothing la.. Bye
King: Tell la..
Christy: What to tell?
King: Tell la.. You sounds different..
Christy: haih.. Nothing la.. Bye.
King: ok..
-hung up-

Buahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha... He is Back! Wuahahahaha..
SOT!! They thought i will act like this.. Yes, im happy he is back. But.... *sigh*

sigh

2006-08-22T14:13:00.000+08:00

Finally... I resigned. Fuhhh.. I'd been struggle because of this for so longgg.. I just can't made up my mind. Finally i did.. What makes me resign? There are so so so so so so... too many reasons. Work is stressful, and im dead sick. I need a long long time to recover. Maybe im wrong of what im doing, in another way, i'm right of what im doing. Argh! No idea what am i talking. Just, everything need times.

I hope everything is alright. And for myself, i hope i will get a new job soon. I don't wish to stay at home everyday. Sometimes syok also la, but sometimes feel damn boring. ..........Im really speechless now... Blah..

The Guy Who LoVe You

2006-08-17T12:47:00.000+08:00

The guy who love you , if he can't always see you, he will try to make himself busy, for not to have any time to remember you, because he knew, if he did, he will keep on missing you until he could do nothing.

The guy who love you, can't tell you the reason why he love you. he only knew that, in his eyes, you are the only one.

The guy who love you, seldom praise you , but in his heart, you are the best, only he know it.

The guy who love you, will scold or complaint if you din't reply his message but others, because he cares.

The guy who love you , only drop his tears in front of you, when you try to wipe his tears, you are touching his heart , the heart which beat for you.

The guy who love you , will remember every word u said , even its accidentally. and he will use the word always at the nick of time.

The guy who love you, will not give any promise that easily, because they don't want to break the promise, they want you to believe him and they want to give you the happiest and safest life ever after.

The guy who love you, always tell you not to think too much, because they already plan it for you, he want to give u the best life in the future, he want to give you a suprise, believe him that he can do it.

The guy who love you, will go to airport to fetch you, he won't carry a bunch a rose and call you darling like what you expect. But he will carry your ludgage and ask you" why are you becoming that thin within two days?"with his sincere heart.

The boy who love you, will listen quietly to you, when you are mad, and when you finished, he will said, you still got class tomorrow, sleep earlier with smile.

The boy who love you, don't know that whether he should call you when you are angry, but he will sent a message to you after few hours, if you ask him why he call that late, he will said, when you are angry, my explanation are all rubbish. But when you calm down,my explanation will only really works.

The boy who love you, always call you little kid, but everytime he want to make a big decision, he will first want to hear your advice.

The guy who love you, while quarelling, he will apologize uncontrollably, although you are the one who's wrong, and later, he will sent a message to you with " baby, actually you know its your fault, you know it urself "

The guy who love you, while really miss you, he will want to buy a bunch of rose and wait you stupidly under your apartment. but he never knows , what he bought is daisy,but doesn't matter, because in his heart, that's roses.

Girls in crush, love, do you think the guy who's beside you do really love you? if yes, wish you have the happiest day ever after.

What he doesn't know

2006-08-07T22:33:00.000+08:00

What he doesn't know
Is that I love him in my heart
I knew that he was special
I could tell right from the start

What he doesn't know
Is that when I close my eyes
All I can see is his image
As he slowly passes by

What he doesn’t know
Is that I remember every word
Every single thing he says
Everything I've heard

What he doesn't know
Is that I dream of him at night
And what I really long for
Is for him to be in my sight

What he doesn't know
Is that I long for him to say
Just one single word
Anything, so I can stay
What he doesn't know
Is that I treasure all the time
Every minute that I’m with him
Seems like a lifetime in my mind

What he doesn't know
Is that we’re so far apart
I wish that he knew
Because it’s tearing at my heart

What he doesn't know
Is that when he doesn't say goodbye
He just gets up and leaves
It almost makes me cry

What he doesn't know
Is that I long to see him smile
To be with him just once
To make this all worth while

What he doesn't know
Is all of the pain I feel
Because keeping this from him
Makes it all too real

What he doesn't know
Is that I want to hold him tight
Keep him close to me
To make everything alright

Special dedicate to someone special

Aiyoyo~

2006-07-18T00:59:00.000+08:00

*scratch head* It's has been a long looooooo..oong time since i've update my blog.. And i have so so so many stories.. Happy, sad, mad, dissapointed, excited, confuse, tired and bla bla bla...

Im happy because i'd been to holiday for just two days..

Sad because Boss doesn't know how hard to approach peoples to sign up for CITIBANK credit card nowadays..

MAD because CITIBANK SABAH BRANCH haven't set up any counter nor exactly location!!

I'm being veli veli DiSsApOiNtEd because PEOPLES doesn't sign up credit card from me.. eventhough i tried my best to approach them.

Im so excited that.. eh.. Nothing to be excite about..

Im just confuse of what am i doing..

Works and love made me feel sooooooo tired..

SALES DIRECTOR CHALLENGE 2006
Date: 14th-16th July 2006
Venue: KL Taman Tasik Titiwangsa and Grand Season Hotel

I'd met Ah Mah... Uiyo.. She is definately a "smile face tiger" In someway, she could be so ok la.. But.. most of the time she can be so scary.. *Gee* and kan.. She is so rich ohh..

And i met Bobby Tan, Mr Fung, Vipin Agrawal and Citibank KL's CEO Mr Piyush Gupta during KL trip. There's lots of fun and laughter during the trip. I did participated in few games. During last night at KL, i found out something that made me fed up. It was totally pissed me off..

At KL, I spent almost RM700 on shopping. I finished RM700 in a day. Roff! Bought 3 pairs of sandals, 1 pair of shoes, 2 mini jean skirts, 2 shirts, some accesories and pressie.. I shopped alone & I found out it was fun. =p

*sigh* 4 more days i have to go outstation.. Hopefully those customersS will be clever and sign up credit cards for me.. Buahaha.. Im desperate of submissions and approvals bah.. Overall, i really wish that i could earn as much as i can $.$

I loveeeeee Money!! *winks*

Lack of idea & words to post..

2006-07-17T22:41:00.000+08:00

Update bah... UPDATE!!

Berhenti Berharap

2006-06-29T23:12:00.000+08:00

aku tak percaya lagi
dengan apa yang kau beri
aku terdampar di sini
tersudut menunggu mati

aku tak percaya lagi
akan guna matahari
dengan mampu menerangi
sudut gelap hati ini

aku berhenti berharap
dan menunggu datang gelap
sampai nanti suatu saat
tak ada cinta kudapat

kenapa ada derita
bila bahagia tercipta
kenapa ada sang hitam
bila putih menyenangkan...

aku pulang...
tanpa dendam
kuterima.. kekalahanku

aku pulang...
tanpa dendam
kusalutkan.. kemenanganmu

kau ajarkan aku bahagia
kau ajarkan aku derita
kau tunjukkan aku bahagia
kau tunjukkan aku derita
kau berikan aku bahagia
kau berikan aku derita

aku pulang...
tanpa dendam
kuterima.. kekalahanku

aku pulang...
tanpa dendam
kusalutkan.. kemenanganmu

不堪回首

2006-06-27T00:46:00.000+08:00

爱上一位音乐家, 不代表要懂音乐..
爱上一位医生, 不代表要懂得如何行医..
为何爱上了你, 要懂得如何防备?
为何爱上了你, 要懂得如何收拾这份爱?

世上如果没有爱也没有恨,不是很好吗?
为什么让我一次次地体会爱的残酷?

你我不再需要时间去证明我们是相爱的.
因为.. 你我不会有明天或未来.

我希望我们从来都不曾相识过..
没有痛苦,
没有眼泪,
也没有寂寞..

原来一切都不是我预料中, 一切都没有了.. 怎么办?

因为你

2006-06-24T18:29:00.000+08:00

无聊.天真.无奈.放纵.选择.暧昧.厌倦.自责.烦闷.愚蠢.黯淡.消失.可怜.放弃.大方.讽刺.思念.无可自拔.逃避.勇敢.微笑.闷闷不乐.疲惫.失败.分享.胜利.失望.蠢蠢欲动.放心.渴望.简单.孤单.空虚.复杂.可忆不可求.难过.痛苦.关心.约束.方向.慕名.感叹.命运.错误.内疚.纠缠不清.悲伤.单纯.耐心.倾诉.祝福.眼泪.触动.全心全意.擁有.占据.心灵.笑容.哭泣.忧郁.倒霉.困境.忙碌.奋斗.结果.不欢而散.难受.安慰.解决.彻彻底底.灿烂.面对.磨练.色彩.扶持.怨恨.颤抖.疼爱.遍体鳞伤.安静.跟随.重要.难以释怀.付出.盼望.拥抱.快乐.难受.可悲.神秘.爱.是.永无止境...

Because Of You

2006-06-16T13:10:00.000+08:00

If ever you wondered if you touched my soul, yes you do. Since I met you I'm not the same. You bring life to everything I do. Just the way you say hello. With one touch I can't let go. Never thought I'd fall in love with you.

Because of you. My life has changed. Thank you for the love and the joy you bring. Because of you. I feel no shame. I'll tell the world it's because of you.

Sometimes I get lonely and all I gotta do is think of you. You captured something inside of me. You make all of my dreams come true. It's not enough that you love me for me. You reached inside and touched me internally. I love you best explains how I feel for you.

Because of you. My life has changed. Thank you for the love and the joy you bring. Because of you I feel no shame. I'll tell the world it's because of you.

The magic in your eyes, true love I can't deny. When you hold me I just lose control. I want you to know that I'm never letting go. You mean so much to me, I want the world to see it's because of you.

Because of you. My life has changed. Thank you for the love and the joy you bring. Because of you I feel no shame. I'll tell the world it's because of you. My life has changed. Thank you for the love and joy you bring. Because of you I feel no shame. I'll tell the world it's because of you.

Yeah, it's because of you..

Who says our English is teruk?

2006-06-03T23:40:00.000+08:00

Ours is simple,short,concise, straight-to-point, effective etc.........

WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS
Britons: I'm sorry, Sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.
Malaysians: No Stock.

RETURNING A CALL
Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone page for me a few moments ago? Malaysians: Hello, who page?

ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY.
Britons: Excuse me, I'd like to get by. Would you please make way?
Malaysians: S-kew me

WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY
Britons: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.
Malaysians:No-need, lah.

WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION
Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?
Malaysians: (pointing the door) can ar?

WHEN ENTERTAINING
Britons: Please make yourself right at home.
Malaysians: Don't be shy, lah!

WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE
Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money.
Malaysians: Where got?

WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER
Britons: I'd prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.
Malaysians: Don't want la...

IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION
Britons: Err. Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.
Malaysians: You mad, ah?

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE.
Britons: Excuse me, but could you please ! lower your voice, I'm trying to concentrate over here.
Malaysians: Shut up lah!

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU.
Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time.. Do I know you?
Malaysians: See what, see what?

WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION.
Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment.
Malaysians: Die-lah!!

WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED
Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened?
Malaysians: Wat happen? Why like that....?

WHEN SOMEONE DID SOMETHING WRONG
Britons: This isn't the way to do it here let me show you.
Malaysians: like that also don't know how to do!!!!

WHEN ONE IS ANGRY
Britons: Would you mind not disturbing me
Malaysians:Celaka u..

Joke of The Day

2006-06-03T23:25:00.000+08:00

OFFICER: WHAT IS YOUR NAME?
CANDIDATE: M P. SIR

OFFICER: TELL ME PROPERLY
CANDIDATE: MOHAN PAL SIR

OFFICER: YOUR FATHER'S NAME?
CANDIDATE: M P. SIR

OFFICER: WHAT DOSE THAT MEAN?
CANDIDATE: MANMOHAN PAL SIR

OFFICER: YOUR NATIVE PLACE?
CANDIDATE: M P. SIR

OFFICER: IS IT MADHYA PRADESH?
CANDIDATE: NO, MUNNUR PAL SIR

OFFICER: WHAT IS YOUR QUALIFICATION?
CANDIDATE: M P. SIR

OFFICER(ANGRILY): WHAT IS IT?
CANDIDATE: METRIC PASS

OFFICER: WHY DO YOU NEED A JOB?
CANDIDATE: M P. SIR

OFFICER: AND WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
CANDIDATE: MONEY PROBLEM SIR

OFFICER: DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY
CANDIDATE: M P. SIR

OFFICER: EXPLAIN YOURSELF CLEARLY
CANDIDATE: MAGNANIMOUS PERSONALITY SIR

OFFICER: THIS DISCUSSION IS NOWHERE, YOU MAY GO NOW
CANDIDATE: M P. SIR

OFFICER: WHAT IS IT NOW?
CANDIDATE: MY PERFORMANCE....?

OFFICER: M P!!!!
CANDIDATE: WHAT IS THAT SIR?

OFFICER: MENTALLY PUNCTURED!!

.

2006-05-31T17:22:00.000+08:00

日子好难过!! 很难呼吸..

没有方向, 没有目的地似的..

不知为了什么?

我并不孤单,但心里有一种莫名的空虚..

我再也不简单了,回不了从前..

想好好爱一个人,却变得那么复杂.

我不能否认,

我还是爱着他..

我真的放不下!!

他感觉到吗?

他不爱我,为什么那么关心我?

难道他不知道那样做会伤害我吗?

在他心中,我是什么?

可不可以从此离开我?

生活就不会那么约束.

我真的希望我们从来都不相识..

你我都不会那么痛苦..

也许我该说..

我不会那么痛苦.

真爱真的可忆不可求吗?

如果有个选择,

我希望自己从来都不爱或被爱..

也许,不会那么痛..

cacat!!!

Trust her no more!

2006-05-20T13:04:00.000+08:00

I feel like SHIT!! So SHIT!!
How dare she lie to me? Its totally fucked up!!
Im IDIOT enough to trust her... as my very best friend..

You see, what did you get now? A betray.

I swear to myself, im not going to trust her anymore. Best friend? NO MORE!

Hey I,
Have you ever treat me as your best friend? Ask yourself!
Have i ever done anything wrong to you? Ask yourself!!
How did you treat me as your friend?
and Ask yourself! Why were you done this to me?!!

Im fucking dissapointed right now! No one knows you did this to me. If i'm given a chance, i hope i'll never know you.. Get it? You're just pissed me off!

Bet you'll read this post, so yeah.. Here i am, with the broken pieces heart. I wish that i will not cry..

为什么?

2006-05-19T00:13:00.000+08:00

*感叹* 脑子里有许许多多的问题,很困哦!别人看我很ok,其实我一点也不.为什么命运会是如此? 想要活得简单难道是一个错误吗? 我很想把自己给狠狠地打醒.我不想错下去.我感到内疚,但我怎样也逃不了.我爱他? 其实也不是.那为什么自己还要和这段感情纠缠不清呢?

我讨厌自己!别人也应该讨厌我.

很她谈了一阵子,觉得她是一个很好的女生.很单纯,一直努力,耐心地培养一段属于自己的感情.最后,我很衷心地祝福他和她.

后来再想想,自己真的不应该!我,越来越讨厌自己了! 我相信报应.

天啊!为什么会这样?

我会放弃,离开.我真的希望他们能好好地在一起.但愿如此.

Why Dr. Mahathir insisted on using English for math and science?

2006-05-18T21:44:00.000+08:00

This is because the whole world uses the language as an information and/or technology language. How dangerous it will be if we try to use Bahasa, especially in school. See example below.

hardware = barangkeras
software = baranglembut
joystick = batang gembira
plug and play = cucuk dan main
port = lubang
server = pelayan
client = pelanggan

Try to translate this:

ENGLISH : That server gives a plug and play service to the clients using either hardware or software joystick. The joystick goes into the port of the client

Now in BAHASA: Pelayan itu memberi pelanggannya layanan cucuk dan main dengan menggunakan batang gembira jenis keras atau lembut. Batang gembira itu dimasukkan ke dalam lubang pelanggan.

天若有情....

2006-05-10T20:27:00.000+08:00

天亦老...

RM4500? $.$

2006-05-06T13:11:00.000+08:00

ARrrrr...!!! Christy, you damn freaking ugly Bitch!!
.....im u-g-l-y

Its May.. Its a raining season.. Everyday Rain.. *sigh* How could i work? I'm sick. I had fever and flu. Now i cough like hell.. Seriously, im not in the mood to work. Im fuckin lazy. I am happy while thinking about my next salary. It is about RM4500. For me, it is a HuGe number yet it couldn't cover my needs. What makes my that rich? Yes, its because of my hardwork and my dad's support. Thanks dad. I had 24 approvals. 6 platinum credit cards, 10 gold c.cards, 7 ready cash cards & 1 cash back..guess so. Comission for one platinum card is around rm190, gold card and ready cash are same price which is rm95 each. Feel excite when think about it. ^^

But.. I'm not happy at all. My life is very complicated. I want it to be simple. I want to love and to be love. I just don't know why it is so difficult for me. And now, i am just fool around.. I learn to flirt, learn how not to be hurt. and learn how to stop crying when i been hurt.

Yeah, there's someone who wants to be with me and to build a long term relationship.. as long as we can.. But, i got scare of it. *shrug* I have no idea on how to love someone again.. My wounds are there, deep in my heart..

I miss someone badly..

There are some certain guys, for me, they are pathetic. Dexter is one of them. I mean he can be the 1st of them. He is totally a dickhead. If i wanna da xiao ren, then he will be my second or third xiao ren. Stupid him.

I found out a guy, he likes me because of my look. He will stop 'loving' me if once i cut my hair.. Pathetic~

Another guy, he is irritating. Super ga ga cau, ngam ngam cham cham and ah ji ah zo. Everyday ring me and talk loads of his previous love story.. 30 years old guy.. Disguisting man.. I'd told him that i dislike him to ring me everyday especially working time and bed time but he is still doing it. Even i yelled at him that day on the phone. Im fucking sick and tired d and what i need is rest. But this fucker keep calling me and ask why i don't pick up his phone. Thanks to stupid Andy cuz he is the one who gave my number to this old man.. If he rings again, im not sure what will i gonna talk to him.

I need to work hard.. WORK HARD!!

L.O.V.E II

2006-04-29T23:32:00.000+08:00

I thought love was just a mirage of the mind, it's an illusion, it's fake, impossible to find.

But the day I met you, I began to see, that love is real,and it exists in me.

I wrote your name in the sky, but the wind blew it away.

I wrote your name in the sand,but the waves washed it away.

I wrote your name in my heart,and forever it will stay.

My 1st Salary!!!

2006-04-27T00:07:00.000+08:00

Buahahahahahahahahahahaha... Finally i got my salary d. Stupid Citigroup!! 1k!! $.$

But... I had hand over half salary to my parents... They are so happy.. Adui..

To date, i have 12 approvals. Wowee! This is the thing that i should cherish about. *LoL*

K lah. Gotta sleep. Tomorrow 'work' hard!! ;p

Miss you right now.

An idiot and 2 stiupid =.=

2006-04-25T22:31:00.000+08:00

Stupid company!!

Stupid people!!

Stupid job!!

Stupid!!!

Dexter, you are a total idiot, a dickhead! Never ever let me see you, i will slap you for sure. Yes! In front of peoples. Idiot people with stupid conversation. Don't you dare to talk about me!!

Fucking Citigroup! Where is my salary? I'd been worked for more than a month yet haven't get my pay. Stupid! How am i going to shop for my outfit since im broke?

Stupid Des, wanna ask my mum for a meal.. Em di gi bok mai?! Fat hao!! Say that he is very close to my mum. Aih.. Bullshit larr.. Go and layan your gf lah.. Bikin semak only!! =.=

Fuh! Tomorrow gaji day. Or else, strike then.

Im fuckin tired and depress. I just hope I can smile. Just that simple. All I want is that.

The trouble with love is...

2006-04-21T21:33:00.000+08:00

Love can be a many splended thing
Can't deny the joy it brings
A dozen roses
Diamond rings
Dreams for sale
And fairy tales
It’ll make you hear a symphony
And you just want the world to see
But like a drug that makes you blind
It’ll fool you every time

The trouble with love is
It can tear you up inside
Make your heart believe a lie
It's stronger than your pride

The trouble with love is
It doesn’t care how fast you fall
And you can’t refuse the call
See you’ve got no say at all

Now I was a once a fool it’s true
I played the game by all the rules
But now my world’s a deeper blue
I’m sadder but I’m wiser too
I swore I’d never love again
I swore my heart would never mend
Said love wasn’t worth the pain
But then I hear it call my name

The trouble with love is
It can tear you up inside
Make your heart believe a lie
It's stronger then your pride

The trouble with love is
It doesn’t care how fast you fall
And you can’t refuse the call
See you’ve got no say at all

Every time I turn around
I think I’ve got it all figured out
My heart keeps callin
And I keep on fallin
Over and over again
This sad story always ends the same
Me standin' in the pouring rain
It seems no matter what I do
It tears my heart in two

(The trouble with love is the) trouble with love is
(It can tear you up inside) it can tear you up inside
(Make your heart believe a lie) Make your heart believe a lie
It's stronger than your pride

(The trouble with love is) It's in your heart it's in your soul
(It doesn't care how fast you fall) You're losing all control
(And you can’t refuse the call)So you’ve got no say at all

I've got to let you know

2006-04-16T10:01:00.000+08:00

1. I love you not because of who you are, butbecause of who I am when I am with you.
我愛你不是因為你是誰，而是我在你面前可以是誰。

2. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.
沒有男人或女人是值得你為他流眼淚，值得的那一位，不會要你哭。

3. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
那人不是你所想般愛你，但不代表那人不是全心全意地愛你。

4. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.
一個真正的朋友是向著你伸手，觸動你心靈的人。

5. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.
掛念一個人最差的方式，就是你坐在他身旁，而知道你不能擁有他。

6. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
就算你不快樂也不要皺眉，因為你永不知道誰會愛上你的笑容。

7. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
在世界裡你可能只是某人，但對某人你可能是全世界.

I love the land below da wind!

2006-04-15T02:02:00.000+08:00

These are some scenery that i'd captured during my flight to Tawau. I would like to share it because it is soooooooooo beautiful. Yeah! It's Kota Kinabalu, capital of Sabah.

See! It's so amazing, isn't it? *grins* Perfect picture.. Moutain, blue blue sky, cloud, land and sea..

Mount Kinabalu

and... the island.. *winks*

As I jumped off the building...

2006-04-14T16:22:00.000+08:00

我看到了10F 恩爱的阿呆夫妇正在互殴.

...

我看到了9F平常坚强的 Peter正在偷偷哭泣.

8F的阿妹发现未婚夫跟最要好的朋友在床上.

...

7F的丹丹在吃她的抗忧郁症药.

6F失业的阿喜还是每天买7份报找工作.

5F受人尊敬的王老师正在偷穿老婆的内衣.

.....

4F的 Rose 又和男友闹分手.

3F的阿伯在盼望有人会拜访他.

2F的莉莉还在看她那张结婚半年就失踪的老公照片.

...

在我跳下之前,我还以为我是世上最倒霉的人...

现在我才知道每一个人都有不为人知的困境.

我看完他们之后深深觉得,其实自己过的还不错..

所有刚才被我看的人都在看我

...

我想他们看到我以后,也会觉得自己其实过得还不错.

爱情,我输了.

2006-04-13T21:41:00.000+08:00

*感叹* 要怎样开始呢?

自从工作那天起,生活变得很忙碌.每天需应付不同的人,同样的话,说了千遍万次,为了还是钱
.每天都在努力奋斗.在这期间,发生了许多事.有快乐,有悲伤.

快乐?不懂算不算.

认识了一位男生,和他交往,最终分手.爱,来得快也逝得快.原以为自己放得开,但眼泪证明那是错的.

他,是我的同事,女朋友在外地念书.几乎每一个小时都和他在一起,日久生情,我和他选择在一起.朋友们都不看好这段情,而我觉得不会有好的结果.可是,我选择逃避.

天天和他一起上班,吃饭,下班.虽然每天都见面,但每晚我们还是会谈电话.上班前和下班时他会吻我,工作时手牵手,和他在一起很快乐.

快乐不长久.每一晚我都在担心,他和她会因我不欢而散.和另个女生分享自己所喜欢的人的确很难过.说实,我很恨自己,为什么我会是第三者? 我讨厌第三者,我恨第三者!!他也知道我很难受,安慰我说,他需要时间来解决.

一天比一天难受.最终过不了自己的那一关,和他谈分手.以为说了就解决,万万想不到自己会流眼泪.
我败给了爱情.彻彻底底的.

And I'm so sick of love songs

So tired of tears

So done with wishing you were still here

Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow

So why can't I turn off the radio?

现在在想,要怎么面对他呢? 很苦恼!!心底有些恨他,,因为他所说过的话刺痛我的心.我必须面对,比他更坚强.笑的要比他的更灿烂!

日子多痛苦始终都要面对.算是一种磨练吧! 我要我的生命比以前更色彩.

上帝,请您一路扶持着我.阿门.

I wanna know

2006-04-12T21:57:00.000+08:00

Yeah, ohhhhhhhh yeah
Alright, oh, oh, oh

It's amazing how you knock me off my feet, mm
Everytime you come around me I get weak, oh yeah
Nobody ever made me feel this way, oh
You kiss my lips and then you take my breath away
So I wanna know

I wanna know what turns you on
(I Like to know)
So I can be all that and more
(I'd like to know)
I'd like to know what makes you cry
(sooo)
So I can be the one who always makes you smile

Girl he never understood what you were worth, mm no
And he never took the time to make it work
(You deserve more loving, girl)
Baby I'm the kind of man who shows concern, yes I do, ahh
Anyway that I can please you let me learn
So I wanna know

I wanna know what turns you on
(I Wanna to know)
So I can be all that and more
(I'd like to know)
I'd like to know what makes you cry
(sooo)
So I can be the one who always makes you smile

Tell me what I gotta do to please you
Baby anything you say I'll do
Cause I only wanna make you happy
From the bottom of my heart, it's true

Tell me what I gotta do to please you
Baby anything you say I'll do
Cause I only wanna make you happy
From the bottom of my heart, it's true

I wish that I could take a journey through your mind, alright
And find emotions that you always try to hide babe, oh
I do believe that there's a love you wanna share, oh, oh
I'll take good care of you lady, have no fear, oh
So I wanna know

I wanna know what turns you on
(I Wanna to know)
So I can be all that and more
(I'd like to know)
I'd like to know what makes you cry
(sooo)
So I can be the one who always makes you smile

oh tell me tell me!
Tell me what I gotta do to please you
Baby anything you say I'll do
Cause I only wanna make you happy
From the bottom of my heart, it's true
Tell me what I gotta do to please you
Baby anything you say I'll do
Cause I only wanna make you happy
From the bottom of my heart, it's true
yeah yeah yeah yeah..

I wanna know what turns you on
(I like to know, I'd like to know)
So I can be all that and more
(I wanna know)
I'd like to know what makes you cry
(sooo)
So I can be the one who always makes you smile

L.O.V.E

2006-04-05T21:48:00.000+08:00

Love is passion. Obsession. Someone you can't live without. Someone you fall head over heels for. Find someone you can love like crazy, and will love you the same way back. Listen to your heart. No sense in life without this. To make the journey without falling deeply in love, you haven't lived a life at all. You have to try, because if you haven't tried, then you haven't lived.

Death is nothing for me

2006-03-27T23:58:00.000+08:00

If someday or in the future, you found me dead.. maybe because of...

tiredness
sickness

or meybe..

loneliness?

but most probably is because of Hopeless

Im confused about the reason why am i living in this world. Its fucking meaningless. Family and Friends aren't around me when im facing hard time. Yes, they are here. But, they refuse to see it or help me. Keep asking myself "why am i here?" To suffer? To being hurt? or to smile?

Started to keep away from everyone.. I have no faith in anyone nor myself. My life such a mess.. I hope i'll be given a chance to find a reason to breath. I'd lost my soul.

I work so hard, until im tired, sick then maybe die?

Maybe that's one of the reason..

No one knows.. I don't know..

We'll just wait and see..

Christy, your candy heart says Hot Stuff!

2006-03-26T17:08:00.000+08:00

When you reach into the candy heart bag, there's no doubt you're coming up with a fire red heart that reads "Hot Stuff." It's not so much a label as it's your style — turning heads, getting numbers and raising room temperatures a few degrees when you walk through the door. You'd love someone who could match your flame-throwing ways, but so far, everyone just melts like wax when you turn on the heat. Got a romantic fireside dinner planned for you and your very own hottie? Better keep a hose nearby because sparks could start flying. And if you're still on the prowl, waiting to find someone who can hold their own against your undeniable sense of romance and action, keep a close watch. They're sure to come around soon when they see your "Hot Stuff" coming their way.

Im just a dumbass!

2006-03-21T12:20:00.000+08:00

Sunday- As usual, Adrian picked me and yan up. Went to Wisma because i need to look for my working outfit. We'd spent almost 3 hours in Wisma. I just could found one piece of singlet and a black long pant. Its so exhausted. I didn't take any meal since morning but im not hungry at all. I felt abit pain in my stomach. Yan wanted to get her rest at Adrian's car, but we forgot where's location of Adrian's car. We walked from 3rd floor car park till 5th floor until we found his car. It's just really tired, not to mention, i'm wearing high heel. After awhile, Adrian was back from the cinema. So, i called Kingston and asked if they have any programme. He said, they will go to CP. End up at CP, i bought another singlet from Craze. Met up King they all at KFC. They decided to watch V for Vendetta . Its definately a nice movie that you shouldn't miss. Its so touch. I would like to watch it again. After the movie, we all ( kings,connie,russ,ah siong,don,mark ) went to meet up all the friends at Upperstar. Its Danny's birthday. Ramsay, Godfrey, Alna, Terence and his gf were there. Just like friends' gathering. Back home at 10 something cause i need to study for the test on next day.

At night seems to be the worst night i had. I've noticed that he went online for quite awhile but he didn't look for me. So, i chatted with him by started a GREAT conversation.

Do you really think i'm so desperate of arguying with you all the time? For you, im a kind of girl who love to being jealous. What about you TRY to ask the others, will they calm when someone that she loves and really close to, FLIRT in front of her? Im fucking sure you don't even think about it. Why am i say so? Because you're repeating it. Over and over! Fucking disguisting! Don't say you care nor damn worry of me while you are not. Its just a lie. What do you take me for?

I'm lying in my bed all alone. Called you once again. No one is home.

My friends say I'm too good, too good for you. And maybe that is true. Well I don't care. What do they all know. They got it all wrong. This is so unfair they are playing our song.

Im not regret of what'd i gave to you. But im fuckin dissapointed when you treated me like this. Im not sure if that is a joke between you and her or whatever.. Because of her, You started to ignore me, not picking up my call, not reply my text, yelled at me "SHUT UP" and somemore you don't even believe that im trying to kill myself. I knew you mean it. You know what? You fuckin mean!

The tougue is not steel, yet it cuts.

Nobody gets too much heaven no more. It's much harder to come back. I'm waiting in line.

Nobody gets too much love anymore. It's as high as a mountain. And harder to climb.

You had changed. You started to tell lies. You are not you anymore. Im just really dissapointed on you. I really hate of you, that is what you created it by yourself. Who can stand it? No one could stand this.. Im just a girl, who wanted to be in love. But.. what have i been through, i guess it is just fantasy. I never reach you and you never reach me. I hate of myself because i'm so desperate of you. Im so wanted to push myself as far as i can from you. Perhaps, i will not be so hurt..

It's done, you're on your own.

Something is going on. What is wrong. I want you to be here. Why don't you come. And spend some time with me. Can't you see. How we come undone. Is this the end of our song?

You ignore me because im not believe of what you said. Ask yourself, what've you done? You brought jealousy into us. Say you care, you worry, im special, i always have your love, you will hurt me no more, but you didn't show it nor i feel it. Ask yourself, what did you gave to me?

Nobody gets too much heaven no more. It's much harder to come back. I'm waiting in line.

Nobody gets too much love anymore. It's as high as a mountain. And harder to climb.

Ask yourself, am i deserve all these? You won in this game, you have totally break my down. Yeah, you deserve all good, but im not. Im FUCKIN hurt when think of whatever sweet little words that you told me. My thought is right. You will just fall in love with girls with preety face. Im FUCKIN sad because im not, and i don't deserve your love.

How do I deal with how I feel? How to reveal what's real, love? As another day fades away.. So I say...

You won! You won in this game! Im the loser and always. Im FUCKIN cheap! Hopeless! I'm so believe that I deserve everything bad. Its you who turned things became this. You made it! Finally you made it! You had killed me. Are you happy of it? Im a total IDIOT!!

Nobody gets too much heaven no more. It's much harder to come back. I'm waiting in line.

Nobody gets too much love anymore. It's as high as a mountain. And harder to climb...

Life begins..

2006-03-16T22:02:00.000+08:00

*Headache* Fuh~ Im tired. My body and mind are very tired. My brain filled by lotsa information, about products, features and benefits, basic requirement...etc.. Its all about work. Yes, im working now, as a sales executive for Worldwide sales and advisory which under Citibank.

Start from 15th, i have to wake up at 6.30am, (remember, i don't drive!) to send my brother to school. Life turns abit normal.. Wake up-take breakfast-work-lunch-work-tea break-work and back home. I knew a few of peoples from my work place. Fiona, Susan, Tracy, Desmond, Ivan, Thomas, Sam and others.. They are all my colleague, my senior. Can't recall all of them. William is a guy from Tawau who also a trainee like me. My boss, Mr Choi, a nice guy he is. Well. this is what they said. 1 weeks of training had shorted to 3 days. Can you imagine how much should i learn in a day? It's absolutely more than you thought. William and I will be examine on next monday. Fuh!! Pressure!! Hopefully i could get the full marks, or else i have to re-take the test. *sigh* There's a few formula and basic information such as payment and charges, credit criteria to be memorize. Its confusing most of the time.

Colleagues.. Hmm, haven't know them well, but i think they are ok. I had been asked by Desmond for a date. Work is tiring, rather stay at home and get some rest than clubing. Everyone of them thought i have a bf cause whenever free time, i sure will dissapear from their sight. Well, its not that, it's because i don't know them well. I think im the one who work on time and rest on time. Not to mention, Im the youngest one in the company. Its a chance for me to gain experience. Hopefully everything will run smoothly.

Today, Desmond asked me if im going to watch lee hom's concert at KDCA tomorrow night. Im not going i guess. I need more rest. Work is a torture, but when you think of the pay, you will work hard no matter how difficult it is.

This job isn't simple as how my parents think. Yeah, i can get lotsa customers or subsmission from my parents. But.. The hardest things is about the approval.

2 months.. I will work hard in this 2 months before further study. Jia You!!

I do really hope everything will work out and I could stand it...

It's been few days since i talked to him. Told him that i will not bother him anymore. *sigh* I can't do it. I miss him alots..despite how i try not to think of him. Its my own feelings to deal with. It is so difficult yet unwanted. Im too stupid!! What should i do?

steady supporter

2006-03-14T16:21:00.000+08:00

You're a Steady Supporter
Stand by your man — that's just something you naturally do. Once you've committed to a relationship, you are a constant companion who enjoys the comfort and stability that comes from being a couple. Not quick to judge, accuse, or think the worst, you have a lot of trust (in him and in yourself), and you rarely worry about where he is or who he's with.For you, mutual respect is of utmost importance. You are comfortable and confident in your own skin, making you a great pillar of strength in all your relationships. Whether he's striving to climb a mountain or land a promotion, you have his back. Best part is, you know he's got yours too.

What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?

爱的线断了

2006-03-13T00:59:00.000+08:00

Went out with friends today. It's a bad day to begin with. My hangover was gone. Finally i had a meal. Saturday, i just had three cup of nestum and a cup of milk. Yes, a day without food. Yesterday, I just had a plate of mee with honey chicken wing, a cup of ice tea and a cup of kit zai ice. Not to mention, i am having period. But weird, i just don't feel like eating at all. Great huh? My lips started to crack, my body getting very weak..I couldn't stand longer. I just feel sleepy or maybe dizzy all time.

Out with King too. They had dinner at new lion. I ain't pay attention of their conversation. I was thinking to kill myself with the knife. Maybe it doesn't hurt.. Damn! Soon, i might fall again. Im really tired, don't think i will stand up again. Im really really tired. No one could understand nor could help me. This is my life. Haha! It's screwed up!

烙印

2006-03-11T17:22:00.000+08:00

那个梦的开始,等于这段爱的结束.趁他还未讨厌我之前离开,不好吗?

屡次告诉自己,是时候离开,几乎每一次都无法做到.因为心里还有他,都一直眷恋着他.这一次又是第几次了?

一直以来我所盼的就只有他的爱.可是,始终都盼不到.高不可攀.

爱他的人很多,爱我的有几个? 我只不过是经过他生命里其中一个毫不起眼的路人.

"勉强没幸福" 到底何时我才会接受这个说法呢?

命运是什么?

有一对男女分手了.*感叹* 他们是相爱的呀.看了她的部落,我竟哭了起来.非常可惜!相爱的人不能在一起是一件多么痛苦的事.他们选择了当回朋友,可是他们的心还是爱着对方.这是他们的命运吗? 安慰的是,他们曾经快乐地在一起.很无奈吧!

而我呢? 曾经站在垂死的边缘,最后我还是活回来了.我爱我的生命,爱与珍惜我周围的人.命运很坎坷,很折腾.它把我生命里最爱,最重要的人给带走.她是我的希望,为什么也把她给带走呢?天意弄人!心很悲痛,能有谁知道?

我试着爬起来,向前进.我还以为能够克服一切.昨晚证明了那是错的.原来,我并不是那么勇敢,坚强.真实又再一次把我狠狠地摔下来.为什么那么残酷呢?能有谁告诉我为什么?

Frust!

2006-03-11T13:32:00.000+08:00

I'm screw up! Totally..
I thought i was brave, strong enough.
I thought i could stand up again and smile....
But i was totally wrong..
Hardly to stand up and move on.
Peoples thought i was alright.
Look at me right now!
What i am right now?
Im just a piece of shit!!

Last night was a night.. I drank as much as i can.. At last, i drunk. And i puke alots till now. Its a torture. I can't even remember what did i done, what did i say, and how did i get home..etc.. I did called him..and i cried. But i just can't remember what did i say.. I saw the text after i'm awake. I think i had screw everythings up including our relationship. Well, this is the end. Guess it is over! Fuck!

Im ugly! Really.. Please leave me alone..start from now..

Christy! You sucks!! You're such a BITCH!!

Do not let things happen!

2006-03-08T17:26:00.000+08:00

Few things i wanna talk about today. Im wondering which will be the first, second, third... etc..

Ok, start from the story between me, Ray and Alice.

I did mentioned about my close friend, Ray at previous post right? He thought that we're not suppose to meet anymore because of Alice and i'm agree of it. But.. Last night, he asked me out for a drink at Yoyo with Sum and his friends. He brought me to his house after Yoyo. He tried to get closer with me and tried to pinch my nose.(he likes my nose) but i tried hard to keep a distance with him although he kept chasing me around the living room. I'm seriously mean it. Because i knew me and Ray can't be that 'close'. Besides, i understand how's Alice feel if once she knew it. And i never wish to be the 3rd person in peoples' relationship. Action speaks louder than words. I asked Ray to send me home. In the car, he was still kept trying to play with me. It's annoying. I didn't talk much with him and he knew it. Silent.

Back home, thought of it. Told myself, i will never meet Ray unless there's some other friends with us. Otherwise, their relationship might screw up because of me. Haha. I think what's Ray says was right. Perhaps, I should engage or get marry with Ken for not causing alots of misunderstood.

Second, im still confuse about my future. I need to study, but at the same time i have to earn money. Yet i haven't recieve any call from Citibank. Just now i had make a call to Tarc, Sabah Branch. I had been known that there will be no more intake after 22th May until next year. Sigh.. Hate da company! Why wouldn't they call me within one or two weeks?

Next, i got lotsa miss calls, texts and calls with different numbers since end of February. Where the hell they got my number? I will asked how they could get my number at first. But they jual mahal to me. Sigh. I hope that my phone number won't be spread out. =/ Freaky!

.: ~**~ :. LoVe t♡ VenT .: ~**~ :.